I installed Mozilla and it downloaded fine. wtf-ever dudes!!
I also found out that IExplorer saves every site you ever went to ever since you last installed the operating system in hidden files called index.dat. I had 18 of them!!! These retain all info about your activity even if you clear your cookies and delete history. Velly interesting, comrades. Ach tung!! Even though I booted to safe mode and came up in command mode, and issued the "del index.dat /s" command, IExplorer still wouldn't download the patches. Dammit. At least now I don't have a file on my computer a hacker could use to find out stuff I'd rather not let be known.
So I guess in my clean install upcoming next week, I won't be using IExplorer anymore.