From The Sermon On The Mall:
 
7 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was Arrrgh!" Piraticus 13:7. 8 The Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen people are pirates, and He made man in their image, but man has forsaken Him. 9 I see no shoulders with parrots perched on top, no eyes covered by eyepatches. 10 I see no hands replaced with hooks, no legs replaced with pegs.
 
11 Global warming is proof of the FSM‟s dissatisfaction with mankind. 12 Our Holy Graph shows us that as pirates have decreased in population over the years, killed by ninjas and other ne'er-do-wells, global temperatures have increased. 13 Pirates are after all His chosen people and He's a little pissed off.
 
14 And if that wasn't bad enough, I see more and more of my fellow students falling prey to the Dark Lord Darwin. 15 He corrupts them with reason and evidence, tricking them into thinking the myth of evolution true and causing them to choose Science and Philosophy over our holy and delicious teachings. 16 He tempts them will his facts, facts that **** up our precious blind faith. 17 And while we don't have a Hell in the usual sense, these poor souls surely won't get to the best parts of Heaven, which has a beer volcano and stripper factories by the way.
 

How can you tell if someone is a pirate?
 
They just Arrrr...

"FSM is not God rules mortal judge"
 
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/04/14/flying_spaghetti_monster_is_not_god_rules_mortal_judge/
 
Sometimes, there's just not enough face palm in the world...

 
The Coffee House holy book.

SteveStrummerUK

 

I'M CONVINCED!!!

craigb
I'M CONVINCED!!!

I'm quite sure and convinced that I won't be eating much pasta!

Not me!  I'm having the final leftovers of a mix made of spam, becan, mac & cheese and peas.  Cover with some extra cheese and enjoy! 

I'm vegetarian so...ya.  I think it's disgusting to eat the flesh of animals.  Your constant appeals to the pig are disgusting.  If you only gnu how they slaughter them.  Oh ya, and vivisection so idiot graduate students with idiot ideas can test their *theories* out, disgusting.  
 
(BTW vivisection is a good name for a metal band! :D)

Ah, so you're one of those unhealthy types (it actually is)!