I had to lol @ polarbears remakes about fast car...stole the words out of my mouth..lol..but to the tune...I would suggest that w/o vox I can't even begin to give you real feedback..I know your asking about the arrangement and the mix but for me...I need the vox melody to really help....in fact its like puting out a bunch of good tasting side dishes and no main course..which really will carry the whole meal...so even ruff vox when your putting your line in the water is a huge step in helping others, help you....this is just MHO so I'm just giving you my input from my seat. with all that said here's my quick take...the intro is very intimate and recorded well although at some point the string squeak needs some work..but then when you kick the electric guitars in they seem too distant...i'd pull them up in the mix...I loved to break you did..nice change-up...so all in all you got a good start..but I need vox to hear where its going...if you want to hear an alt mix of your guitars...PM me and if you shoot me the CWB I'll remix (no $$ of course...just for fun) with my ears and see what you think..
fun stuff.
 
thepogue @ yahoo dot com

polarbear
Definitely better. Really sounds great man.

Thanks, much appreciated! 
 

Guitarhacker
I too thought it sounded like something I head heard before. I didn't know the song but knew I had heard it on the radio.
 
When I write something that ends up sounding too similar to a song everyone else knows.....I scrap it and try again.
 
Another option is to rewrite it based loosely on what you have. Try to make it flow and be cohesive in respects to the genre.
 
For what it's worth..... I heard several really sweet ideas in that for several different songs. I'd look at breaking out the best one to you and work on that first. Leave Ms Chapman's sound-alike on the shelf for now.

I did consider just sing the second part, but with the tempo change, made it a bit of a ball ache. Hopefully, with the right melody, it should take it away from Ms Chapman.
 
Unless the melody resembles that track too! 
 

thepogue
I had to lol @ polarbears remakes about fast car...stole the words out of my mouth..lol..but to the tune...I would suggest that w/o vox I can't even begin to give you real feedback..I know your asking about the arrangement and the mix but for me...I need the vox melody to really help....in fact its like puting out a bunch of good tasting side dishes and no main course..which really will carry the whole meal...so even ruff vox when your putting your line in the water is a huge step in helping others, help you....this is just MHO so I'm just giving you my input from my seat. with all that said here's my quick take...the intro is very intimate and recorded well although at some point the string squeak needs some work..but then when you kick the electric guitars in they seem too distant...i'd pull them up in the mix...I loved to break you did..nice change-up...so all in all you got a good start..but I need vox to hear where its going...if you want to hear an alt mix of your guitars...PM me and if you shoot me the CWB I'll remix (no $$ of course...just for fun) with my ears and see what you think..
fun stuff.
 
thepogue @ yahoo dot com

Agreed on the vocals/melody, completely understand. Struggling at the moment though, ideas I've come up with are too 'poppy' or sound too forced. Am going to stick this version on the iPod and just listen to it now and again until I can find something that fits.
 
Definitely up for sending you across the CWP file for a play. One of the beauties of music I find it listening to alternative takes on tracks, how they can be exactly the same song but be completely different. I'll drop you a PM now. Cheers 

Version 2 is definitely cleaner sounding. The electric guitars do need some more tweaking I think, they do sound a little thin to me, need a little something to fatten them up. The playing is good ! Now write some lyrics.

kk man....your PM answered..and I'd say let the song write itself...dont fret about being too poppy...no sounding forced...that's never a good thing...but one mans pop is another mans..poop...lol..
 
talk soon

Nice work Damien. For your first mix, it's very profession sounding, I think you're a natural! Love the sound of the intro guitar, very clear tone and nice playing. The only thing I thought, was when the kick drum comes in, it's a touch too loud. Just a touch I reckon. Look forward to hearing the completed one with vocals!

tonydean
Nice work Damien. For your first mix, it's very profession sounding, I think you're a natural! Love the sound of the intro guitar, very clear tone and nice playing. The only thing I thought, was when the kick drum comes in, it's a touch too loud. Just a touch I reckon. Look forward to hearing the completed one with vocals!

Thanks man, much appreciated. Agreed kick has been a bit of a pain. First too quiet, and you're right, maybe boosted it a bit too much.
 
Tom (thepogue) is tinkering with it at the moment, already heard a sneak preview and he's certainly worked some magic on it