Serenarules
The thing is, I have kind of already done all that. I have arthritis, high blood pressure, cholesterol, asthma and have had two strokes already. I am on meds for it all, but I gave up my drivers license years ago because of it all.
Basically, I do not leave the house. I have explored all the genres I have interest in, with influences ranging from Slayer to Debbie Gibson, Depeche Mode to Madonna, Gorillaz to Danzig. I own many guitars, synths and drum machines. In school, I played trumpet, coronet, 3 and 4 valve euphoniums.
I truly appreciate all the input, but the more I go over things in my head, and try to balance experience with ability and desire with access, I am quickly coming to the realization that I very well my be spent.
Keep dropping ideas my way though. Something may rekindle my spirit.
I think you have similar issues to myself where failing physical fitness and/or unhappy life events lead to being in a state of continuous mild depression and this strangles your 'joie de vivre' and your creative drive.
I've found it impossible for the last 2-3 years with both a death in the family and failing health to write anything that I am proud of.
It's also true that at our age (late 40's) if we have had regrets about things that happened in the past these can build up and a sense of being over half-way through your life doesn't help with looking forward...typically I dwell on what happened in the past and my ever-closer end of life.
If I'm sober I get writer's block, if I'm intoxicated I just re-record stuff I've written before...I enjoy it (because I'm drunk :) ) but it's not very productive.
For me, I need to work on my physical fitness, I think this is a major part of why I just exist rather than live (healthy body healthy mind).
Reading this back it all sounds a bit morose lol , but maybe it helps some people know that they are not alone in feeling like this and that trying to explore new things may be the key to getting out of this frame of mind.