Hey jsaras,
Thank you for taking interest in my song and for taking the time to help me improve it.
I'm afraid it must be a matter of taste: even though your groove is obviously technically better, for me I find it to be what I call too much of "Music by the book".
I deliberately try make people wondering by unexpected changes, timings that are a bit off etc. It might not always succeed, and that's why I tightened the drums after comments made here on the forum. I try to make music on the edge, and your groove is just a little bit too "clean" to my taste.
I hope you're not offended, and I do appreciate everybody's opinion :)

good stuff....I think I'd pull the keys up a tad and some goes w/the vox...seems to sit a bit too far back. Great feel for sure.

Nice song! Has a Stevie Wonder vibe to it.

I enjoyed the vocals and the song.
 
I never became accustomed to the electronic drums... I'm assuming that it was a creative choice. I think that if I was going to use electronic drums for this track that I'd go even further and make it sound like beat box drums, but I kept imagining a acoustic, maybe even a jazz kit, mixed in the background would sound appropriate.
 
In the absence of a killer solo, I can't really figure out what the sax was doing there. This song can sound complete with just piano, bass, and drums, but I also imagined how you might use a small horn section (trio) as a rich harmonic pad. If you use a section there is, perhaps, less expectation for a sax solo.
 
I really like the song.
 
I also think a live played bass line could effectively frame you vocals and emphasize your personal sense of groove.
 
It was nice to hear singing where the vocals complimented the choice of song, song key, genre, etc. It seemed like you were at ease and enjoying the performance.
 
Thanks for sharing!

I took another listen to your original.  There's a difference between doing the "unexpected" and notes that simply do not fit.  At the beginning, the synth bass notes do not agree with the bass notes in the piano part.  If you were to write the bass part out for a bass player I guarantee that he'd hand it back to you. The overtones in a chord are generated off the root tone.  When that tone isn't clear (i.e., there's more than one sounding at the same time), it confuses the whole thing.   The chord at 0.16 sounds like a mistake.   What is it precisely? 
 
FWIW, I tweaked my 8 bar thing slightly to get it closer to your original (same link).  Generally, the "average Joe" has no clue about harmonic sophistication, counterpoint, etc., but they DO feel the difference between a groove that is played correctly and one that isn't.  Just my $0.02.

Peace,
J

Hey mike_mccue,
Thank you for your comments.
Using electronic drums was not really a creative choice.
I just don't know any musicians, so the computer is the only friend I have.
And even if I knew a drummer, I wouldn't know how to record it with the equipment at hand.
But it doesn't stop me from making music, though :)
And I think it's a good idea to make the drums sound more like a beat box. Flaunt the imperfections. I'll see if I can play around with the idea.
As for the sax, that was deliberate. The first version had no sax in it, but it didn't describe the laid-back, easy, peaceful feeling I wanted to feel.

Thanx for the comments.

Hey jsaras,
Thanx for trying to help me.
To be honest, I'm not a musician, I don't play any instrument really, I can't read notes etc. I'm just a hobbyist sitting behind his computer fiddling around with some cool software. The only thing I have is ideas.
What I really need is a live band around me who can play the instruments, but sofar I haven't really met anyone who is into my kind of music.
(I do play with a piano player, but he plays totally different music).
So what I'm trying to do here is to make showcases, where at least the idea of the song is clear.
I do not know what chord it is exactly at 0:16, or whether it is a misstake. I just like the way it sounds :)

That was a very interesting song.  It sounds to me like "Michael McDonald era Doobie Brothers meets Boz Scaggs plus some Roxy Music" (that is meant as a compliment).  You mentioned in one of your posts that your goal is to produce music that takes the listener in unexpected directions, and you did a good job of that (again, please hear that as a compliment).  If this is only your second song then you have a quite a future in front of you. 
 
Very best of luck with your music.

Hey Jude, Don't be afraid...
I totally hear it as a compliment. I'm a great fan of Boz Scaggs and Roxy Music. I'm very much influenced by Bryan Ferry.
 
Thanx
Dick