1. Get Voxengo SPAN (it's free)
2. Set it up for K-12 metering
3. Adjust your limiter gain until the meter is bouncing around 0db (plus or minus 4db, but 0db on average)
4. Repeat for all your projects
This will get them all pretty durn close to one another, assuming you haven't done anything wacky like cranking your bass drum to 11 on just one song.