I see your point, beep, about trying to arm your mates with as much info - structure, really - as you can. It sounds like you might be runnig into a dynamic that I found really hard to deal with, where the skill and equipment level of guys I wanted to include in collaborations was just lacking and I had to try to find creative ways to get them plugged into the game. In the end, I was generally not successful, and for remote collaboration I have concluded that it works best with folks who are basically already comfortable (or can learn fast) with the process like razorwit laid out.
I'm not trying to be a black cloud of gloom here, man, just sharing my travels on a similar path. Artistically, I had this really nice group together, albeit in different cities, and really wanted to make it work remotely, but the paradigm just didn't suit some of the folks, bottom line. Even though it's becoming more of a norm, there are still a lot of good writers and players that just don't sport the package of musical, computer, and production skills to make remote work really practical. Working with guys who have made the modern leap is big fun and well worth it, though, hope you get your band plugged in successfully...