My amateur song and performance, sketch only...

EDIT : REMOVED.....

So if this was a sketch, what direction do you want to take the song?

Hard to say, guess i need to figure out how the instruments gonna play, and what style
it could change completely into something other. ..

this is just to see more how, i can make it myself
i am no singer, no'r one that can i play any instrument
" you can hear it in the composition" the way its played.
just a simple way of playing, that is my limit.

I have never made a whole song yet in my life, maybe i can manage it with this !
( i tend to make short pieces like 1 to 1.5 min, then after a few months i delete them ) 

It is quick mixed, not really gone into the deep of it, and done it properly
piano / bass / EP,  is from Steinberg Hypersonic 2 module, Drums BFD3 demo.

Microphone on the vocal is a Shure PG58
in my opinion a really bad mic....

Insert Reverb on vocal track(s) is : Ambience 
Send " Pre " Reverb ( BUSS)    is : AlgorVerb 

I hardly use any of the plugins that comes with sonar not even the, blue tubes bundle

but i love the ProChannel EQ,  it is sooo nice ;-)
also using Boost 11, but only at max +6db
if i need more ill use 2 instances due to a bit, " harshness " when pushed..

Jan

Doesn't matter if you think you can't sing or play, if it's what you feel and believe then it's gonna be a great song. Of course you have to sing and play in tune, but that's what you did and I think the song has a future. So take the sketch and make a painting, only good can come of it.
I liked your vocal, it has a character all it's own.
 
 

I guess you got a point there, thanks for your kind words
you make me wanna continue and work more with it

Ill give it a try and see if i can make a painting of it 

Thank's
Jan

Actually, there's nothing amateurish about this at all.  Throw in another verse or two and a bridge, and this song could be a gem.  As I've said before, it's a lot easier to start a song than finish it.  Make the effort here, and you'll be glad you did forever.

The piano is drowning out the vocals, so lower the piano a bit or bring up the vocals a bit. You could equal everything out between  the 500-700 range. Sounds good other than that and I agree with Lynn on adding some additional verses and a bridge in the song. Great start.
 
Peace and Blessings, John

Lynn
Actually, there's nothing amateurish about this at all.  Throw in another verse or two and a bridge, and this song could be a gem.  As I've said before, it's a lot easier to start a song than finish it.  Make the effort here, and you'll be glad you did forever.

I agree completely. You've got a great voice - sounds much like Mark Knoffler.  And the composition itself is really promising. I could hear some background vocals - ooOooOoos and ooOooAhs - really bringing the refrain to life.

theguitarplayer
The piano is drowning out the vocals, so lower the piano a bit or bring up the vocals a bit. You could equal everything out between  the 500-700 range. Sounds good other than that and I agree with Lynn on adding some additional verses and a bridge in the song. Great start.
 
Peace and Blessings, John

Thanks for the notifications on the overall sound picture and the piano / mix
piano / bass / EP,  and Ahhh - Ohhhhs vox, is from Steinberg Hypersonic 2 Vsti

( the song need additional variation to, so it not will be that " boring " ) to listen at.

The the mix is not finish, just a quick rough mix.

I agree  i need more verses, a bridge, and repeat the refrain (or make another )
to make it a complete " song "

BBB
I agree completely. You've got a great voice - sounds much like Mark Knoffler.  And the composition itself is really promising. I could hear some background vocals - ooOooOoos and ooOooAhs - really bringing the refrain to life.

Thanks for your comment, appreciate it a lot ;-D
the ooOooOoos and ooOooAhs , is from Hypersonic 2 vsti
i found there was something missing without it, yepp it gives the refrain more life

Lynn
Actually, there's nothing amateurish about this at all.  Throw in another verse or two and a bridge, and this song could be a gem.  As I've said before, it's a lot easier to start a song than finish it.  Make the effort here, and you'll be glad you did forever.

thanks Lynn, you got it right, i have a big problem to continue a song
it always seem's easier to start, rather than finish it 
Wonder why ?

Thanks everyone for the kind words and the good advice and helping me forward

Jan