GuitarhackerMy suggestion would be to shorten it up. You did mention "commercial" usage, so it needs to be around 3:00 to 3:30 in length (ideally) for that purpose.
My wife agrees and after reexamining my original feelings about length, I realize that I do, too and have done all along. It always felt a bit too long, especially the intro. I'm always afraid of losing the listener before I get them properly hooked.
I found a couple of other places to cut as well. The second verse and the repeat of the 1st verse each tack the first line on again at the end of the verse and that could easily be cut in both. It'll throw off the symmetry, but what the heck, right?
I do think both bridges need to stay in, though, just to keep the feeling of building toward what comes next. Does that make sense to you?
GuitarhackerAs far as the "unmastered" aspect.... it was a bit low in volume. Don't hesitate to put the polish on your tunes that you post. Put them out there in their best light as far as you are able.
This may sound like an excuse and for that, I apologize, but at this stage of learning, I wanted to make sure I was on the right track (forgive the pun) before going on to the mastering stage. I haven't even read up on mastering yet. Up 'til now, all I've ever done for 'mastering' was run it through HarBal.
Also, I find that my projects are all coming out low volume. Is that normal for this stage and then it's dealt with in mastering? Or am I doing something wrong?
I used to use a Soundcraft Compact 10, but after it (literally) fried itself to sleep, I got a Mackie 402-VLZ3 and the gain levels always seem really, really low to me. I've never been able to come anywhere near throughput unity on that board without taking chances with either my ears or my headphones.