Gee thanks Herb, now I have Phil Collins singing in my head! 

TOS, or "Terms of Service" are intended to provide a set of rules that must be adhered to in order for individuals to be allowed to continue using the service.
 
As such an effective TOS will be limited to clearly defined conditions that *will* be enforced.  Black/white, if you will.
 
Suggested norms for behavior that are included in a TOS that are unenforced, either selectively or because they aren't defined well enough, serve to undermine the strength of the TOS in its entirety.  Because of this, things that are sometimes OK and sometimes not OK have to be left to discretion.  Unfortunately this can and will lead to disagreement, but is unavoidable none the less.
 

I have not read every post in this thread so this may have already been suggested. I do have a possible solution. if one receives an abusive PM. Send a PM to any host explaining the problem and the abusive PM with it. A host can then take action from a mild rebuke to the abusive PMer to notifying CW of the situation with a recommendation. There are other actions that can be made as well. My advice is don't engage it yourself let a host handle it for you. Hopefully that wont happen. Most of you are more than capable of dealing with this sort of thing anyway but if you can't or don't want to a host can help. This also means keeping PMs private. No need to post it on the forum.  
 
On some level I believe an abusive PM sent to a member is about as juvenile and silly as it gets. Who wants to be thought of as being so devoid of common courtesy as to send a PM that is abusive. I know it will happen I just can't see any long time member doing so. 

Ryan Munnis [Cakewalk]

Private messages should be kept private, I'd discourage anyone from sharing personal or potentially discriminating information with anyone on the internet. 
 
Who is to say whether or not something was sent in a PM or not?
 

  
 
However, if a member openly admits and publicly shares (posted on the forums) personal content of a another user's private message without consent, what is Cakewalk's course of action regarding this?
         
Drew suggested:

drewfx1
I can't see why having the words "respect other's privacy" in the TOS would be any kind of a problem.

+1, I agree with Drew, will Cakewalk at least consider adding Drew's suggestion to the TOS (Code of Conduct)?     
            

Rimshot
Right Ryan.
The point being that those that think it's OK to copy from a PM need to read somewhere that it is not OK. Then, when the forum hosts are made aware of an incident, they have the backing to respond in kind.

+1 Good point.

bapu

Susan G
Hi Ed-
 
If I got an abusive PM

Can you please post it so we can vote on its relative abusiveness?

Hi Ed-
 
I said “If I got an abusive PM…” I haven’t. As I said, I was surprised to see the content of a PM posted publicly on a forum. I hadn't seen that before and as I said in post #18, there was a time (long, long ago) when even the content of Cakewalk's tech support emails was considered private. I also acknowledged in the same post that times have changed.
 
I also agree with BobF’s point. I should have suggested an addition to the Code of Conduct rather than the Terms of Service, so I’ll change the subject accordingly.
 
Thanks-
 
-Susan
 
 

If I get a PM I ALWAYS keep the contents secret. I would rather err on that side than expose something someone didn't want to go public. 
 
Just a heads up- depending on the clearance a mod has they can see PMs.....so never think that a PM is really private. Better to have a discussion and agree to go to  email if the material is considered sensitive.

Herb (Guitarhacker),    
No matter how intelligent people may be, all humans make mistakes for example, based what they think is indubitable, then later (pages later) finally realize they were wrong. If you're at the receiving end repeatedly questioned, it can be difficult to explain a 'complicated' subject to someone who does not understand. These are common occurrence on any forum site, and sometimes (certainly not always) people don't appreciate the time others invest in having to explain the facts.   
        

Ryan Munnis [Cakewalk]
         
Private messages should be kept private, I'd discourage anyone from sharing personal or potentially discriminating information with anyone on the internet.

Who is to say whether or not something was sent in a PM or not?

Ryan Munnis (Cakewalk),
The forum Private Messages system is cause for concerns that should be taken seriously as clearly pointed out by members of this forum.

There are solutions, I have seen forum software provide options in the users control panel, the following options:  

• Display Email address to friends only
• Display Email address to anyone
• Do not display Email address to anyone (only administrators and senior moderators can view your Email address)
• Receive Private Messages (PM) from friends only
• Receive Private Messages (PM) from anyone
• Private Message Forwarding.
• Do Not Receive Private Messages (only administrators and senior moderators can overide this option)  

The above is a preferred solution, unfortunately these options are not  available in APG version 5.1 or latest ver 5.5. And I'm not sure if customization or further development for these options will be available in the near future for APG. I would contacting APG and ask them to consider this, in the meantime it 'might be possible' for a developer to provide 'custom scripts' that can be added to the forum.  

Alternative Suggestions/Solutions:

• Private Messages can be disabled for one or more users, or disabled for all users. These settings are on all forum softwares for example, via APG Admin Control > User Management > Private Messages (PM) '0' inbox, effectively disabling all users Private Message (PM) system. This will also improve the speed and stability of the forum software. It's a shame there are no other options for APG forum as explained (preferred solution).  
• Friends can post links and exchange Email addresses via their own website, music site, social pages. I think that is a reasonable solution (workaround) considering genuine concerns raised regarding private messages. Another point is, you cannot forward Private Messages.
• Forum Reports: all official complaints should include a valid Email address, this is a formality and a far better solution compared to the limitations of forum Private Message (PM) system. For example, there is no forwarding, and no copies on the server (regarding forwarding via Email server to local setup). 

Forum Hosts: I should also bring to your attention regarding members genuine concerns regarding forum hosts. To be fair, forum hosts are helpful but humans are not perfect, apologies are acceptable for minor mistakes.... what isn't acceptable is disrespect for civil rights, it's in Cakewalk's best interest to deal with loose cannons promptly and effectively.
 
Forum Community: Regulars and fanbois may exasperate a situation, and/or make a customer feel alienated (unwelcome) is Cakewalk's loss.... for every one customer who is subjected to this and leaves = potentially more customer losses for Cakewalk, because word gets around fast on the Internet. Newbies or anyone who hasn't updated since SONAR version 8.5 or prior have a learning curve, though there are in rare instances the need for workarounds. All this can be a source of frustration. Unfortunately, bigotry, confusion and misunderstands do occur. Forum hosts should intervene (damage control) much sooner to alleviate, to prevent a worsening situation. Think of forum hosts as Pain Killers or Sedatives lol. Seriously though, anyone who hops on the popcorn wagon to exasperate and/or alienate is not in the best interests for Cakewalk's prosperity. I sincerely don't mean to offend by bringing such a sensitive matter up, I'm saying this with all due respect and concern for Cakewalk and the forum community.