"if i called it a day on this DIY project and decided to buy drum pads or a drum machine in a store.
(a Millenium MD-90 for example)... would i still end up with the same configuring nightmare?"
 
I am also not a drummer and bought a Yamaha DD-65. Works great.

Dd65.... I'll keep that in mind. just in case. I hope I get this working though. The electronic parts and shipping probably cost me about 70 bucks.

Hi Stickman.   just tried the event list trick.  I created a standard midi track in Sonar.  Didnt use Session drummer.    Hit record and started hitting the pads with my hand.
Looks like events got recorded. 
Im seeing 7 events.  
Under Ch   I see the number 1
Under Kind I'm seeing the word Note
Under data Im seeing what looks like D flat 5 twice, D5 once and F5 four times. 
Should i take form this that the midi port from my DIY pads is sending data.   Perhaps the pads do just need some kind of configuration file loaded to the "brain".  

Just another update guys.   I might be making progress but i will the help of the company.
So I've created a plain empty midi track and hit record.  Event viewer shows data.
I then sent that midi track to Dropzone , SD 1 and SD3 but no sounds.
But.... i then sent it to Cakewalk Soundcenter and i get sounds depending on what synth i pick. 
Well at least it's some progress.    If its ok with you guys I'd like to let y'all know how i get on when these guys get back to me.  

Agentcalm
Should i take form this that the midi port from my DIY pads is sending data.   Perhaps the pads do just need some kind of configuration file loaded to the "brain".  

Yes. Probably best to take each pad hit as a separate exercise to make sure you know what events are being sent by each pad.
 
So, your drum "brain" is sending on Channel 1, with the notes Db5, D5 and F5 ? 
 
It is critical that each pad send one note number. If you're getting multiple notes from each pad, that seems really odd to me. The most important thing is that sounds would be differentiated by note number, so as long as each pad was sending a distinct cluster of note numbers, you would work with that.
 
Then you need a Drum Map. This is how Sonar would translate your drum brain from the notes it is sending, to the notes expected by your virtual drum instrument.
 
I use drum maps for my controller, to map pads to the sounds in Addictive Drums. It's a bit confusing at first, but I couldn't live without drum maps.
 
 

Sounds like your drum "brain" is sending notes out in a higher octave than your soft synth drums are mapped to.
 
Open up an existing MIDI clip that plays well with SD3 in Sonar.  Take a close look in Piano Roll View at the piano keyboard on the left. To see the piano note numbers, just drag the clip onto a new MIDI track and observe the note range where the hits normally trigger the virtual drums.
 
You can look at the SD kit in Piano Roll, but you are likely to see the SD drum map, rather than note numbers.
 
When I play SD3 from my MIDI keyboard it seems that most of the kit pieces fall between C2 and C5, with a few FX above that range.  So you probably need to drop what the triggers are sending by about three octaves.
 
The kit should start at C2 with the kick, with the rest of the kit following.  The air gets kind of thin above C5! 

Hey fellers.  How goes it.   
Sorry Sticks .. i probably didn't explain that very well.  I dont think the pads are sending several signals.   I was hitting them randomly with my hands like playing bongos.  They are most likely only sending one note each.   Appreciate the link to drum maps you added there.   Looks like Im in for a long road here.   But I'll read up on these and try the hang of them. 
Hi Abs.  Im looking at an SD1 track here and I see what you mean about PRV.  I can see those C1, D1 notes etc as they increase in number the further up the piano you go. 
So it looks like i need to get the "brain" programmed to use notes from say the C2 range to maybe C4?    Thanks guys for hangin there with me on this.   I know its a bit of a pain. Appreciate it guys.

Agentcalm
Hey fellers.  How goes it.   
Sorry Sticks .. i probably didn't explain that very well.  I dont think the pads are sending several signals.   I was hitting them randomly with my hands like playing bongos.  They are most likely only sending one note each.   Appreciate the link to drum maps you added there.   Looks like Im in for a long road here.   But I'll read up on these and try the hang of them. 
Hi Abs.  Im looking at an SD1 track here and I see what you mean about PRV.  I can see those C1, D1 notes etc as they increase in number the further up the piano you go. 
So it looks like i need to get the "brain" programmed to use notes from say the C2 range to maybe C4?    Thanks guys for hangin there with me on this.   I know its a bit of a pain. Appreciate it guys.

In the meantime you can test this theory by opening up the track inspector to the MIDI tab and transposing down -36 semitones (-3 octaves).
 
So select your instrument track, click on the track inspector, and select the MIDI tab at the bottom.
 
Look for the 4th item up from the bottom, labeled "Key+".
 
You can drag the value with your mouse (-left +right) in semitones.  That will transpose any incoming MIDI notes by that amount for that track on the fly.  No reprogramming the drum module yet. 
 
Just do this now to determine how far off the mark it is, then you can dial it in later.  And it should be playable for now as well.  Save the project and it will keep your transposition in place for future sessions!  If you create any new projects you will need to repeat this process.

This is the MIDI track inspector, with the transpose control circled below ...
 

 

One more thought to add is the previously mentioned drum maps.  It would be helpful if you can determine what drum map is being used for MIDI data sent from your drum controller.  The company that made it can probably help you there.
 
If it is sending General MIDI (GM) drums, you are in luck, because you can set the drum map in Sonar to the GM drum map.
 
If you look at the graphic in my last post, the left hand column has two drop down selectors near the bottom.  The lower one selects the drum output. Just click on that and select "New Drum Map", and scroll down until you see the GM maps.  There are several provided, so assuming you have sorted out the general pitch issues, this may get you headed in the general direction of triggering the correct samples from your kit.
 
If the GM thing doesn't work, hopefully the company used a standard of some sort, else you may need to create a custom drum map to get the notes triggering the correct samples.