Here's the latest from my home studio. Still learning production techniques, but making progress. Comments welcome!
 
https://soundcloud.com/aark/not-forgotten
 
Mel

Well, I would work on the tone of the guitar, it sounds a bit tinny in places. Second, maybe work a bit on panning each track so you don't have everything so condensed together, but more spread out for a fuller sound. I like the over piece but it needs a bit more attention here and there. Lots of nice textures going on but would be nice to hear each instrument clearly in the mix. The volume levels seem to be alright, but ones you get everything in a good separation point, then you can further work on any other required mixing of the over all sound.
 
Peace and Blessings, John

This is excellent the choice of sounds is great, I'd agree there's some details that need attention, cymbals are a bit harsh, strings could use some volume envelopes and such, little things like that, but I have no doubt you can hear these things already and whatever direction you are going in is a good one.
 
Just keep at it this is good stuff, that intro is sublime.

Mel, I don't know if you've remixed this since the initial comments, but this sounds very good on my speakers.  I like the tones of your guitars and the contrast between them.  I think the separation between instruments is about right.  The chord progression is sublime.  Well done.

The intro is sublime.  
I would lose the soft talking in the intro (or was that all in my head?).
I agree with another comment about the crash cymbals being too brittle.  Maybe just lower them in the mix. 
Put some ambience on the lead guitar (stereo delay with some verb?).
You have a nice touch with midi.  Keep up the good arrangement and creativity.
Can't hear the kick or snare in the solo.
 
Rimshot
 
 

Great feedback, folks. I really appreciate it. I may go back and tweak it some, but I value your input more in helping me on future projects. I have a tendency to belabor the details to the degree that I don't complete much. I'm trying to pick up my productivity (and get feedback) even if the mix isn't perfect. Thanks!
 
Mel

I dug it,very smooth sir.