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  • really depressed and wants to give up on music all together (p.5)
2015/09/15 17:09:26
webbs hill studio
ampfixer
Depression is a complicated illness. It has a mental component but it can also have some real physical symptoms also. Fatigue, aches and pains are very common. I wish you well in getting it managed. Where there is life, there is hope.


true that,i remember at one point being physically unable to get out of bed-the symptoms of depression can defy logic.
i was lucky to get professional help because sometimes life just throws too much at us and we just cant cope.
speak to an expert-there is usually a reason for why you feel depressed and it is usually something you can change or avoid.
now,when i feel the black dog nipping at my heels i turn around,kick it in the arse and move on.
treat it like you would the flu-rest,care and medicine if necessary and try to avoid forums-opinions are one thing,professional help is another.
good luck
2015/09/16 00:34:10
kennywtelejazz
I know about depression , it is something I have had to learn to deal with and accept all my life …..
 
There is a side of depression that you almost never hear people talking about ….
Depression can signal to the person that is suffering from it that they have so much more potential to act and produce  much more satisfying results in their life than they may be currently in a position doing …. 
This actually can add to the depression if the person is unable to see that their depression is signaling a time to make a change and move onward to more satisfying outlets of self expression ….
This aspect of depression is almost hypnotic ( for lack of a better term )
I have often gotten stuck for long periods of time in that endless loop type aspect of depression …
Unable to move or make an effective change ….
sort of like a deer crossing the road that gets blinded by a cars headlight and stands there motionless …
 
Over time I have found that after a close honest personal inventory ..
Depression has robbed me of some of the best years of my life . It has impacted my relationships on all levels and my ability to sustain a music career was also impacted dramatically …
The one thing that I did have going for me was I stopped using drugs and self medicating  myself ….
Booze , pills,  drugs ….and any activity that caused a hard crash …..i let go of a number of years ago 
 
When all is said and done , I do not have any answers for any one else .
 
I think most folks in this world are doing the best they can …even if it don't make any sense to me…. 
 
I can say for myself that I have had to learn new coping skills and I have had to learn to give myself a break when it comes to keeping my expectations of myself and others in check ….
It's a tough road and sometimes the best thing I can do is simply just get out of my own way …
I like to keep it simple . I do my best to make time to find a few moments here and there as they happen to be totally present in the moment ….the past or the future I have no control over …
Careful introspection has taught me that 99% of the things that cause me fear and anxiety are of my own making …
It seems that there is an aspect of the mind that likes to create all kinds of drama and judgments ….Maybe it's part of the ego's struggle to dominate and exert it's will …Honestly , I don't know as I stopped trying to figure that one out …..
All I know is that aspect of the mind and emotional body needs to take a back seat and come along for the ride … 
 
If I can remember to plant myself where I am in the moment and then take a few deep breaths , this action helps ground me and keep my depression at bay …
 
Kenny
 
2015/09/16 09:42:06
Moshkito
Hi,
 
ampfixer
Depression is a complicated illness. It has a mental component but it can also have some real physical symptoms also. Fatigue, aches and pains are very common. I wish you well in getting it managed. Where there is life, there is hope.

 
No doubt.
 
And this is where a director, or helper is important, and can help define a detail and moment that the person can work with and still perform.
 
However, the best schools of acting, and the most important ones, work to break all/any mental barriers to any performance, and this is the part that is difficult to mention here, because most think that all they have to do is know their guitar part (so to speak!), and that's it, and all of a sudden they are in front of an audience of 5 or 500 or 5000, and they go ... wow ... and freeze.
 
Performance arts, are not for the weak, and the un-afraid.
 
Music schools are afraid to work on these sides/parts of the performance techniques, because the majority of things they know is the notes and chords, not the dimension and interpretation of music itself. You can easily see that in the output of musicians, in many schools ... they are all the same technical folks ... with no heart behind it, or that heart is hidden behind the mechanics. You have simply been taught "professional" mechanics.
 
You have to take your step forward, and slowly break out of it, but the more comfortable of actors and actresses, you will find them in theater, because it is much more than just learning their lines, and they know it. Film is less imposing, unless you consider the camera abusive, which is the case with some directors (won't discuss this here!), but something that can give a band an illusion about themselves, that they do not have on stage, and hurt their over all performance value.
 
I'm not the expert in this area, but in all my work, I have never had a single issue with this and any actor/actress, and one of the best jobs, EVER, by any of the folks I ever worked with, was done by a girl that had never been on the stage before, and she had the lead and was the point of interest in the whole thing. She not only nailed it, but got herself a great ovation.
 
I, personally, and I like to help kids develop their little art works, or writing or music, and give them little pointers to help the material not come off so boring, think, in a naive sort of way, that if you are afraid of your material and what you are doing, that you need to step back and look at it better, as this "inner fight", is going to prevent your development in the art form ... that's not to say that Susan or Julibee, or Karyn, should hang up their shoes, but all it tells me is that someone's teacher was so worried about mistakes, that working on a piece becomes a "job" and not a wonderful day in the life of the music and your heart! And I take issue with those "teachers", because they are killing music, and people's ability to express themselves!
 
How is it that I can get a kid to finish a picture, and they will be proud of its finish when they show me, and instead for an adult here, the first thing most do is ... is it any good? Do you like it? ... and you miss out on the process itself while "inside of it", which is the BEST, and the ONLY teacher you will ever need! The rest is talk, including what I say, more importantly when you/me/anyone accidentally take it away from the moment that can teach you ... into the area that only confuses you.
2015/09/16 10:09:54
Moshkito
Hi,
 
"Depression"
 
So strange ... if there is one thing in my life that has NEVER been depressing for me, it is my writing, be it a poem, story, film review, music review, or even the quiet moments that I can sit with my 2 meager instruments and find something or other ... these moments are never something that I found in my mind ... it's like the mere sound of it, helps create a new world that also wants to have a life!
 
Thus, for me, anything related to the arts, has never been "depressing", or "scaring", because it has been the one thing in my life that has given me the most satisfaction and love. To the point that I never even had the real chance of getting married and having a love for the rest of my life! But I have plenty of literature, plenty of music, and so much art around me ... that people look at it, when they walk in ... and you know right away that they don't get it, and can't handle it ... because it is so foreign to them!
 
I maybe alone, but never lonely, as the saying goes!
 
It is, really hard, for me to relate to folks when they say things like that. My own father, got well known in the literary world, and it wasn't for audience attention. He was a scholar amidst idiots and rapists picking up coeds for their enjoyment. As kids we met a lot of very well known writers in the world of literature ... and you really think that Aldous Huxley, TS Elliot, Ernest Hemingway, Carlos Amado, Gabriel Garcia M and so many others ... and I can not conceive of any of them as being "lost" ... they were all extremely alive and bright inside ... they had colors that only kids can imagine, since adults lose the "colors" as they get older!
 
To me, that is some of the greatest enjoyment in life. So sorry that no woman, has ever arrived in my life to over come that ... but having 3 major culture changes in my young life was very difficult and only turned me "inside" ... and helped me see that "inside" in so many writers, when you have a library of 45k books at home, and 3k LP's of music ... you gain something ... I call it a bit of "perspective" on the arts, specially, but in the end, hearing this communication here is extremely sad, and I can't help thinking how empty some folks must be to not know the difference.
 
Wish I could help better!
 
good luck and love, is all I can say!
2015/09/19 10:36:18
ØSkald
Thank you guys. You have helped me get over the depression for now. So thank you.
 
I don’t know if it’s you people. But suddenly I got over 100 fans on Reverbnation. So if it’s you I will say thank you from the deepest of my heart. Also if there is anyone needing any I can provide, don’t hesitate to ask for it.
 
been starting to write a new song too.
2015/09/19 10:46:22
jamesg1213
Nice one Jarsve, rock on!
2015/09/19 10:59:47
Moshkito
Jarsve
...
been starting to write a new song too.
...



The best medicine, too!
 
One last thing ... for me, there are times when I might get down on myself, because I can not get anything written, and I have found that each time, it is nothing but an inner change inside ... and once you "change" your process, all of a sudden ... it's all there and more.
 
I think that sometimes we have to stop, and smell the flowers ... and let some new and innovative thoughts and ideas to get in to our stuck brains ... in the end, these "breaks" (I call them mental breaks), are excellent and even a lot of fun.
 
So, the new poem, comes out different, than before!!! All the better!
2015/09/19 11:02:41
ØSkald
yeah. so true.
2015/09/19 11:05:07
ØSkald
And you have to be a mind police too. Take down the thoughts that bring you down.
This song is great on the subject.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmYOVtDGWyE
2015/09/19 11:20:03
Moshkito
Hi,
 
I had my share of the Firesign Theater and their mind police!
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