This is normally how you adjust cross fades. But I don't see that in your video. I see clips in separate places as well as open gaps. Sometimes what I do is get it to the point im happy with the take and do cross fades in the parent track.
I believe you might have to use the CNTRL/SHIFT method to consolidate lanes. Similar to what Reginald was describing.
Any reason your in sound on sound and not comping mode ? And do you have create new lanes on over lap checked in preferences ?

To adjust a crossfade duration, position the mouse pointer near the bottom where two clips abut. When the mouse pointer looks like

, drag up or down to increase or decrease the crossfade duration. Drag left or right to adjust the crossfade position.