2015/07/13 10:50:03
Planobilly
I had in mind to post some blues in songs and see if you guys wanted to join in....but....there rules.
 
Now I didn't make the rules so don't shoot me I am just the piano player...lol....here goes
 

1.    Blues criteria


1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman," is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line: "I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town."

3. The Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and he weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about limitless choice.

5. Blues cars are Chevys and Cadillacs. The Blues cannot travel in Volvos, BMWs, Toyotas, or any sport-utility vehicles. Other acceptable Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train; jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools are out of the question. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Adults sing the Blues. Blues "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. You can have the Blues in New York City, but not in HamiltonOntario, or Vancouver B.C. Hard times in Saskatchewan or Nova Scotia is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues.

8. The following colors do not belong in the Blues:
a. violet
b. beige
c. mauve

9. You can't have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. the highway
b. the jailhouse
c. an empty bed

Bad places:
a. Ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old man, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. your first name is a southern state -- like Georgia
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:
a. you were once blind but now can see
b. you're deaf
c. you have a retirement plan or trust fund

13. Neither Celine Dion nor Anne Murray can sing the Blues, even in Memphis.

14. If you ask for water and Baby gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. any mixed drink
b. any wine kosher for Passover
c. Snapple (all flavors)

15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a Blues death if you die during a golf tournament or while receiving liposuction treatment.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, and Rainbow will not be permitted to sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Other Blues names (starter kit):
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc.
2015/07/13 10:55:21
Mesh
I lurves me da Blues!!
Need an 7 min guitar solo? lol

2015/07/13 10:59:05
Planobilly
Well Mesh....I guess if a seven min solo is all you can muster up I guess it will have to do...lol
 
Cheers,
 
Billy
 
2015/07/13 11:02:14
Karyn
I'll add bass,  then everyone can have the blues...
2015/07/13 11:03:11
Planobilly
lol
2015/07/13 11:03:26
bapu
I can do cowbell.
 
More (cowbell) if necessary.
2015/07/13 11:05:43
Planobilly
Well...there is a song called Milk Cow Blues....cowbell could be useful there...lol
2015/07/13 11:11:55
Mesh
Planobilly
Well Mesh....I guess if a seven min solo is all you can muster up I guess it will have to do...lol
 
Cheers,
 
Billy
 


That's just the intro....
2015/07/13 11:14:31
bapu
Billy,
 
Been dare dun dat: Bapu's Coffee House Blues
2015/07/13 11:22:44
Mesh
See what an inspirational post can do....... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4iWcFr4fTA
© 2026 APG vNext Commercial Version 5.1

Use My Existing Forum Account

Use My Social Media Account