I finally worked up the courage to post one of my pieces. http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12282044
 
Its still a work in progress. I am not totally happy with the "Guitar" part, Its Music Lab's Real Strat through Amplitube 3, I have nailed the tone I was after but it could be played a bit better.
 
Its a bit of a Mellotron fest with five instances of M-Tron pro. The lead synth is Minimonsta. Drums are Superior Drummer Roots Mallets and there are pads from Massive and Alchemy player.
 
Incidentally "The Worm Ouroboros" is a 1922 fantasy novel by Eric Rucker Eddison.

A lot of synth over kill in this IMO, but then as you have stated it is a work in progress. I'm hoping your plans are to add lots of excitement into the mix. So far, it sounds good mix wise, but that  will change as you decide to get more involved in the overall completion of the instrumentation, which IMO, is needed. Keep it going, so we can get the full benefits of what you have going here,

Peace and blessings, John

I like it like it is. I really do not know why you needed "courage" to post thiss, this is good! I only have one little point to critisize: it is not long enough. I was just getting into the Pink Floyd laid back mood, and then the song was over...to me, I would not mind if the song lasts about ten minutes!

Excellent first effort! I love cluster chords, like we hear in the very first few seconds, lots of things you could do with that.

Guitar player's tip: A live guitarist would definitely vibrate on nearly all the long-held notes.

And, they would do it in an interesting way, perhaps starting with no vibrato, then bringing it in at just the right time; wide vibrato on some notes (often, the isolated ones), very little on others, speeding up or slowing down a little. Put those tweaks into your guitar lead, and it'll come alive.

Over tones of Mr Gilmore and Rick in this. 

As UMS suggests some vibrato would go a long way on the guitar parts as would some small bends.  Just little partials, eighth, quarter that sort of thing with some full bends on the longer notes.  My only other things I would say is remember sometimes less is more.
Great start though and no need for courage here thanks for sharing.

Thanks for the comments. I have been busy and traveling for the past couple of days so I have not had time to respond until now.

@ Wookiee - Yes I think the influences are obvious on this track! Less is more, I know where you are coming from and will take the comment on board. The track that is planned to precede this one is just Piano, Hammond and Drums.

@UMS - Thanks for the guitar tips. I will give that a try. Unfortunately I will be away from my DAW for a few weeks now.

@TheGuitarPlayer - Synth heavy, well I am a synth boy. Started out with home made oscillators, on to an EMS synthi at college in the 70's and then Yamaha and Roland synths. So I am always going to lean in that direction. You are not the only one that made such a comment however.

@Speedtom. Thanks for the kind words. I am not planning on increasing the length, as its music inspired (or suggested) by a book there will be a related piece following on from it.

I enjoyed this piece of music, and I could easily hear the inspiration for this.  If you make changes, please repost because I would like to hear this fleshed out a bit more.  It sounds good, anyway.  Nice job.