Typing as I listen...
The first thing I noticed is that the compression needs to be pulled back...a lot. The kick is ducking everything else out whenever it hits, which makes the whole thing sound squashed and uneven. This doesn't seem to be affecting the vocals - I'm guessing they're on their own bus.
Speaking of drums, the hi-hat / cymbals could probably come down quite a bit. They've got a lot of great sparkle, so no one's going to have a problem hearing them if they drop by 4db or so. As it is, they're a little harsh. I'm always surprised how little cymbal is actually needed. I also find that removing almost all of the reverb from the hi-hat helps to tighten up your "space."
The arrangement is great - all of the instruments play their roles well. I would look for a better strings patch if you've got one - something that feels a little more real. I'd also like to hear a snazzier guitar solo, or maybe just a bigger sound for the guitar during its solo. It felt weak and buried compared to the other elements.
I noticed a few places where it seemed like there should be crash cymbals...but there weren't. Made some of the great drum rolls feel a little anti-climactic. I want that sweet payoff!
My last criticism would be...is there no kick drum on the very last note of the song? If there is, I can't hear it - might be the result of the harsh compression again. At any rate, that last hit feels week without that thump.
NOW! Onto the good stuff...
I love the little bells on the far right. Great addition - keeps me engaged.
The song is catchy as f*ck. It ended about two minutes ago and I still have it playing in my head. The big hook is simple enough lyrically and melodically for me to sing along if I wanted after the first time hearing it, which is great. There are a few awkward lyrical moments, but nothing worth stressing about.
I loved the vocal. It has a very retro feel from the annunciation all the way to the production with the loose doubles.
I don't know where this kind of music fits in today's world, but I enjoyed the listen, so screw it! With a little mixing work, it'll be even better. Thanks for sharing!