Hi Bapu, 

I did not want to in any way diminish the production or the feeling and message of the song.  For that reason, I did not want to get into details.  

Technically, since you asked, here are my comments Ed.

The drums overall EQ seem not as crisp as they could be.  They have a muffled sound on my system.  
The lead vocal is perfect in EQ so I am comparing other instruments to the lead vocal.  
The rhythm section seems a bit soft overall (kick and acoustics might come up a tad).
Your stereo imaging seems spot on.  This seems overall to be a mix level point if you want to understand what I am trying to communicate.

Again, overall, I love the tune and lead vocal.  The backing tracks are very good and if this was to be a final mastered mix, the comments I have made above might be relative.  For producing a song for this forum only, I think what you did was very good.  

Please know that my comments are meant to share my thoughts with you.  The song itself stands on its own and the lyrics speak worlds by themselves.

All the best. 

Rimshot

Thanks Rimmy, I appreciate the comments. 

It can be very difficult to describe what one hears in a meaningful way, so often I use terms that have fairly specific meanings in a general sense.

As you know, dynamics are not just a matter of over compression or even levels, though those are certainly key. Dynamics is keeping the emotion within the performance... emotion that comes with the way (intensity and speed) a guitar string is played for example.

In this the compression/level envelopes used tend to deaden that impact. The guitar is clear, but too even, and too loud. Robbies vocals are pitch perfect... but again too even. Guitar and vocals compete for dominance. Only robbies vocals should dominate... all else supports that. This isn't a rock song, its a ballad.
 
By way of example, there are a few live recordings of Simon and Garfunkle performing "for emily , whenever I may find her" that provide a good example of what I mean (simon on acoustic). 
 
In retrospect, this may also be a performance issue, but it sounds more like mix to my ear. There is a lot of noise on both robbies vocals and the guitar... actually, when the bass comes in as well. With robbies vocals, the noise sounds like mic distortion (to much gain or an unflattering mic - but knowing what I do of robbies equipment it seems unlikely that the mic is the problem. So perhaps there is too much gain on it. But....
 
But, there is the same noise on the guitar. And a similar noise on the bass when it peeks. It could be clipping, but it sounds more like intermodulation distortion.
 
EQ wise, the mix is too mid heavy. Again, it is very clear, but it is a bit harsh. This is the richness component. It seems to me you have pulled too much off of the sub harmonics off the guitar (and even a bit off robbies voice) that then makes the sound a little brittle to my ear.
 
I feel it is these things that are perhaps causing the affect of the song to be weakened for me.
 
Hope that made sense, and helps a bit. Please do recall, much of this is subjective. When I comment, most often I am not trying to tell you what to do, but tell you what I hear.
 
Cheers
Shad

I offered to play guitar on it? 

I think overall Ed did a good job. But we have disagreements ;-)

Thanks for the replies Rimshot & Shad.

Lets get the two bad concerns out of the way first. 

The intro: Whatever that instrument was playing the arpeggio. I don't like the tone or patch.  I would have prefered a real sounding piano. I didn't like the tone on the keyboard or was it a guitar......on the instrument behind the arpeggios. What was that? It sound like this duuunk. Pause .... Duuunk...... Pause ....duuunk. What was that? 

The drums. They sounded dead or flat. I don't know what the correct sound would be. They sat nice in the mix volume wise though. Tone wise not so much. The song may not even be calling for a drum set but perhaps auxiliary percussion like light bongos and a tambourine or something like that. Think Beatles... And I love her ... 




The song .... Beautiful song! 

The lyrics ... Heart felt and appropriate for the wars we are in and what our veterans are go through ... Nice work 

Performance ... Excellent by everyone 

The mix ... Good job Bapu .... You're getting close to Bruce Sweidian or Mutt 

The strings ... Everyone loves strings on ballads .. Why would this be an exception? It gave me a brief hard on. 

The acoustic guitars .... Yup ... Those sounded good. 


Everything seemed to sit right in terms of volume relationship. In other words ... Great balance. 


I would give this a 9 out of 10. 


Good job everyone! 

Oh My God! This was mesmerising. I've heard some good stuff on here, but this really stood up to them all. 

It's seldom I get shivers listening to a song, but this stopped me in my tracks and really blew me away.
Well done to all involved in this. The lyrics, the arrangement were fantastic, and Robby you vocals where wonderful as usual.

Now I'm off for another listen.


Mark.

:-) Music hath charms that doth sooth the savage breast. You must have had a savage breast? It's been so very long for me... Could you PM the details so that I may relive them vicariously? 

Great job, guys! Sorry I had to back out for now, but maybe I will get to it later when I'm not so out straight.

Scotty, thank you, I hope/think I speak for the musicians involved when I say you should feel no obligation. We all respect your ability so much, and I was the one initially who said, "this is really really good, the only thing that could make it better would be Scotty playing in lieu of that MIDI violin." But we are fans!

While we are fans? We also appreciate your schedule, trust me... I know you are being pulled like Gumby :-D That you listened and enjoyed is really more than enough. Again, I speak for myself personally? But I believe for the artists represented here. I'd be willing to bet more than a few dollars they feel as do I "Comrade..."