Yep, you have to let them have some dignity in death. It is hard. Fighting over money is always ugly.
 
J

Yes.... my mom passed a bit over a year ago.... at her age the hospital wanted to do tests and then this and that to "save" her.... my sister had the signed and certified DNR document expressing her wishes NOT to be saved by "heroic actions".  A nurse came in to "take her for some tests" and we had to stop her. She called a doctor to the room at our insistence. The doctor still wanted to order tests. We had to insist that they obey her wishes at the threat of legal action  by calmly asking them (the attending doctors) if we needed to have her attorney come to the hospital and explain the DNR to them in detail.  The doc immediately canceled all the tests and made a note on her chart. She was released the next day, after a few days in the hospital to get her stabilized as much as possible.

Home hosp1ce came to the house, provided a medical bed, pain killers, and a nurse to come in daily to check on her and assist the family in caring for her. They even covered the final hospital bill for us.   Fortunately, we were all (family) on the same page and in total agreement on her wishes and care.  She passed peacefully in her sleep her first night back home.

Home Hosp1ce is the final stage. When that happens, the time is short.

My prayers are with Mr. King and his family. Acceptance is hard. Hosp1ce exists to provide a measure of peace near the end. It seems especially hard to understand for those who do not directly witness the individual's pain and discomfort in their final days. From what I have seen, relatives who are not able to see the person's decline fail to comprehend just how much their loved one is suffering and how far along they are in their journey. It's easy for someone on the fringe with no actual knowledge to criticize the decisions and actions of those who care for the patient on a regular basis. Ignorance is an excuse to blame. 
 
I hope the extended family get their act together and spend some time with him, celebrating him and his life rather than jostling for position. All too soon, the thrill will be gone. 

UbiquitousBubba
 All too soon, the thrill will be gone. 

I see watt you did there.

UbiquitousBubba
My prayers are with Mr. King and his family. Acceptance is hard. Hosp1ce exists to provide a measure of peace near the end. It seems especially hard to understand for those who do not directly witness the individual's pain and discomfort in their final days. From what I have seen, relatives who are not able to see the person's decline fail to comprehend just how much their loved one is suffering and how far along they are in their journey. It's easy for someone on the fringe with no actual knowledge to criticize the decisions and actions of those who care for the patient on a regular basis. Ignorance is an excuse to blame. 
 
I hope the extended family get their act together and spend some time with him, celebrating him and his life rather than jostling for position. All too soon, the thrill will be gone. 

We had sort of the opposite thing happen. The caregivers could not make themselves stop giving care and trying to keep it going. It is hard on every level and in so many ways. I learned a lot. Being ubiquitous, I'm sure you already knew this but I had to post it for "normal" people... .
 
J

Been there, done that.  It is a rough ride.  Hospice care is best, if you handle do it.
 
I saw Mr. King twice, and both were as good shows as I've ever seen.  I saw him in the 80s in Dallas, the same cow shed the Sex Pistols played - the lone star ballroom.  Me and my date were the only whites in the place, and the management had picnic tables set up in front of the stage and people brought chicken and pies and I don't know what all to eat.  Still, we were close enough to Mr. King to see the sweat and he and Lucille burned down the place.  Quite an experience.   A few years ago we saw him in a big fancy hall.  He sat through the whole show and mostly told stories but it was still riveting if not as intense.  I guess that pretty much covers the spectrum of performances.
 
@

My sister died last year from ovarian cancer. 9 months from diagnosis to death. She wanted to stay at home and we all made it happen for her. It was incredibly difficult to be the ones to give the care but with the support of hosp1ce staff we able to do what she wanted. I think last year was the darkest in all my life.
I'm not sure if I would like to put my family though that knowing what I know now.

I hope for BBs sake that he is put first.

michaelhanson

That's a ... tooooooo close up of Lucille! 

DID HE DIE?
 

batsbrew
DID HE DIE?
 

Not yet, but he's been put into a final care hosp!ce.