Agree that this is floyd like.  Listening on my headphones.  Is the bass too loud?

Could be Mun... I tried to keep the third harmonics in the bass track so it could be heard on suboptimal speakers. However on studio monitors and laptops it seemed (to my ears anyway) alright. Must admit to only listening to headphones once during mixing. A case for multiband compression perhaps?. Good to try these things, its how we learn... What headphones were you listening on? Consumer style, or something more. 

Garry

Nice atmospheric tune; I really like the lead guitar tone--is that a Stratocaster?

I'm going to go contrarian on the white noise here: I like the idea, but it's not finished yet. I notice that the vocal is boxed in with EQ to give it a certain vibe as well.

I agree with both of those choices as intriguing. If you can, I'd say, vary both of them in the song.

Start with the white noise in the intro, but then take it away suddenly at a critical point in the song, make it an important moment in the listener's ear.

Likewise the vocal (which I agree I'd like to here more center-front instead of center-tucked in): use that EQ for a specific vibe--then show us two or three radically different settings for changes at just the right musical spot.

I think of McCartney's "Uncle Albert" as a clever use of sounds like this. Sticking with the Beatles, "Honey Pie" makes effective use of an 'antique' sound--with a sudden switch away from it.

Hi, Ult, and thanks for the feedback. The guitar is indeed a Fender Stratocaster, Japanese 95 model with maple neck I have had since new. Although I have modded it and have Seymour Duncan pups installed, namely a JBjr in the bridge, Duckbucker (yes for the Strat 'quack') in the middle and a 'Lil59 in the neck positions. I used the 'Lil59 neck position exclusively for this track for lead guitar. I also used the same guitar in the JBjr bridge position for the 'crunch' power chord guitar towards the end of the track too.

I take on board the comments about the white noise...going to have a look at that, wrt my vocal, I make an error in using different impedences for the session that delivered the first verse, to the session that gave me the other 2 verses, it was only on mixing I heard the difference, so my eq'ing was actually my attempt to bring them back into line, but was still OK with a slightly different feel for the first verse, yes, it was a technical oversight as my own tracking engineer but artistically I was happy to live with it. Again, will take a good listen to your suggestions, thank you for listening and your constructive and artistic suggestions.

Garry

Nice moody music Garry - Pink Floyd all the way. Excellent.

Yep i'm definitely getting a strong "Floyd" vibe from this track too.

The guitar sounds lovely and has a nice Dave Gilmour feel to it.

The mix sounds good, but the drums sound much to thin and need more weight and body imho and there was quite a lot of sibilance in your vocals at times.  Loved the backing vocals.

Overall though, a great composition and a very enjoyable listen.

Thanks very much for the comments Blipp. I tried to leave the clicker in the kick drum to translate to small laptop speakers and the like. I also did a first mix with massive sounding drums and more compression, but it just seemed, to me anyway, to overwhelm the track. As always its a matter of degree. I am going to remix and try for several improvements.

Thanks for the guitar comments, I worked hard to get that sound. Also, yes Dawn has a great voice for recording and I intend to work with her more on my own material.

Thanks

Garry

Hi, Garry,
 
Very cool song with a definite Floyd vibe and great playing and singing!
 
I love how the piano and synths counter very nicely with that sweet sounding strat, and the solos are fantastic.  Actually, I kind of like the low-fi effect during the intro and the trailing off type ending fits the theme of the song perfectly.
 
Excellent work, my friend, best wishes! 
Bob

Bob Oister


Hi, Garry,
 
Very cool song with a definite Floyd vibe and great playing and singing!
 
I love how the piano and synths counter very nicely with that sweet sounding strat, and the solos are fantastic.  Actually, I kind of like the low-fi effect during the intro and the trailing off type ending fits the theme of the song perfectly.
 
Excellent work, my friend, best wishes! 
Bob

What can I say, from the Oistermeister himself ! Except..


Thank you Bob.


Garry