Based upon my extensive research on TV commercials, Insurance companies exist to teleport people out of dangerous self-inflicted disasters, be everyone's BFF, constantly dump out truckloads of money regardless of circumstances, and instantly restore property whenever tragedy strikes. Apparently, the companies are staffed with hilarious, outgoing and charming people who deeply care about each and every customer. The employees compete against each other to see who can give their customers the best service and pay out the largest claims. When someone files a claim, the insurance company will violate the laws of physics in order to instantly deliver a massive payment, replace the entire house, and bring cookies.
It would appear that you've been calling the wrong insurance companies. That's the only logical explanation, right?