I guess you have Blipp to blame for this. lol! ;-)
 
I was bored today so I threw this together. It's pretty basic at present but I'm hoping for comments. Ideas maybe? I know what I want to do with lyrics but I still have to write them. Maybe I'll get more ideas for changes writing the lyrics as right now it's sort of monotonous.
 
Any comments are welcome. Good or bad just let me know what you think.
 
https://soundcloud.com/ro-34/bonk
 
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I put a scratch vox on it and added a change. All the empty space is where a lead will be eventually. I took away the droning bass notes as it cluttered the low end. The drums are still not done. It depends on the leads on how I add fills or change things. It's still a wip so again, comments are welcome.

Who could resist a title like that 


It's a good start Robert, plenty of scope for a melody over that bed.

Nice melody. Would have liked a more crisp snare, though. Enjoyed the listen.

Nicely done.  A few change ups of instrumentastion, maybe a few fx drops would spice up a really solid structure and beat.

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This would make a good foundation for something with a little more meat on its bones.  I, too, would like to hear you experiment with a different drum set, and a guitar over the top of this would make this shine.  Keep at it, and you will come up with something sterling.

Thanks everyone!

I'm working on the lyrics now. Mostly writing things down as ideas then I'll see what happens. I did decide to just go with my standard Addictive Drums that I normally use. Unless I find something else in Z3ta 2 or something else. I'm not sure I like what I'm finding in Session Drummer 2 which is what's there now.

Good to throw in the odd curve ball

Good start some excellent suggestions above

Thanks for sharing Robert 

Hey Rob, nice to see someone try something out of their comfort zone, so kudos for that.

 There is promise in this track, but as it stands, it lacks the punch and dynamics that this type of track needs.

Some immediate thoughts that come to mind are:

Compression on the kick drum to give it some much needed punch and drive.

Some form of hi-hats to make it more ryhthmic sounding.

The snare is far to weak and indestinct and needs to be more interesting sounding imo.  What i would try if this track were mine, would be to alternate between a snare with a more industrial sound alternating with a sort of white noise snare (similar to a thunder crack)  with left/right delayed panning and some reverb to give it a dramatic effect. The contrast with a hard sounding/dry snare would sound good i reckon (in my head it does anyway) just an idea. Oh, and put some compression on that snare to give it more attack.

There needs to be a break of some sort to make the composition itself more interesting.  A different bass line leading into a variation of melody perhaps and a change in percussion.

Just a few ideas that i hope you find useful.

keep at it Rob as the experience will give you more confidence in making this type of track.

Robert, you've got a good bed, but you need to start planting some stuff in it, metaphorically speaking.  The theme is there, but I think you need to start developing on it.  I would respectfully suggest listening to some of Wookiee's and Blipp's material, as both are masters of this genre in my opinion.  Good for you though.  I've started on several pieces like this and never finished any of them.

AT


Nicely done.  A few change ups of instrumentastion, maybe a few fx drops would ****e up a really solid structure and beat.

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What did I say that caused the elipse?  I'm sure it ain't as bad as it looks.  Maybe it doesn't like my spelling.
 
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