Updated with a new mix.
 
Starting to sound great in my humble opinion.
 
 
Let me know if you hear anything I don't hear.
 
 https://soundcloud.com/predissolve/i-will-mix2
 
 
ps feel free to download for full quality. I won't tell anyone if you leak the unmastered/slighly rough version. ;) 

I sincerely do not know what you are looking for. The sound? It sounds good. As for the effects... could you do more? Yes. Should you do more? I do not know... what do you want to do? The vocals do need either some heavy effects or some pitch correction. The performance, well, it can be improved with a lot of practice and should be (or find seasoned singer). It is a neat tune though.

I think your having frequency trampling. It sounds like you have the different instruments sounding the way you like. Now eq them so they mix better with each other.

This is just a very rough idea:

Use subtractive eq to take out frequencies in the keys at 1mhz. You can leave the vocals alone there and subtract from the vocals at say 750hz. Obviously, this will probably not work for your mix but the idea is move things out of the way so certain frequencies cut through and others are held back to clear up (congestion) the mix.

Interesting tune but it seems boring after a while.

Well done!

This reminds me of Thom Yorke just a bit, with the sparse arrangement and soft vocal.  The big thing that stood out to me was the distortion of the bass drum.  Every note broke up, and I hope this is an accident rather that a choice.  Otherwise, I enjoyed the listen and hope you hear what I'm hearing because this song deserves a chance.

triscuit


Looking for mix critique. I only have a certain amount of revisions. 

I assume you mean this is for a client?


If so what does the client say?


Or, are you the client?


FWIW, the kick has an annoying click/pop to it, unless that is what you want.

Thank you for the feedback.

The vocals are good and will not be changing.

Guitarpima:
Thank you for the ideas on the mix. You said it was boring after a while. I'm considering adding some more drums/ambient sounds towards the end. Do you think that would help?  

Lynn:
Thank you for the feedback. I've done some testing and I think the kick/drum might have been turned up to loud in the VST. I'm considering fixing this.  

bapu:
Same thing, I'm looking into possibly fixing the drums. I am the client and I want to maximize the money that I am spending.

No, the vocals are not good. The are flat and toneless and often out of key. If you are doing this for a client, then you are not doing him good service.

I will consider you opinion.

The lead vox sounded very good to me... the vocal harmony is excellent, and could come up a bit... The piano sounds cool but is occupying the same frequency range as the vox and stepping all over it... I don't care for the percussion sound much... but that's just me... this is very cool... well done...

  Thank you notnat. I appreciate the feedback. :)