A very artistic video IMO, the thought never occurred to me that you have the same social problems that we do such as gang violence.  I only caught a few seconds of the first version; my browser crashed and took a bit to get flash working again in YT. 

Thanks for the kick Warren, I need that sometimes. - now go watch!

Sadly, Grant, we are not immune to gang violence, mass shootings, bikers and other undesirable elements of humanity. There are stupid people everywhere. I think the mistake I made was not in making this vid in particular. As I live with it longer, the better I feel about it. This one is still well executed IMHO. No, the mistake I made was in changing the premiss of the first vid entirely, when I should have just fixed the mistakes and left it alone.

If you are just getting into this then you have no reason for self doubt.  I mean this was really good.  Black and white was an excellent choice in portraying your message.  Your shots were artistic but still represented reality.  Your edit flowed and told a story.  Both versions are terrific but personally I prefer the first.  The reason is that it left more to the imagination and I could fill in with my own thoughts concerning what the story was about.  On the other hand I could see where others (such as my wife) might like a more direct message.  The point is how would you like to present it to best tell the message as you would like it.
 
Anyway if you start off good and experience will only make you better ----- then we all have something to look forward to.

I got what you were saying Shad.  Artistically, you could introduce more cinematic elements (different textured shots, etc.) but overall, you evoked emotion.  I liked the music too.  Keep going.

Rimshot

Phil - after the critique I made of your song, I am happy you are not tearing me a new one. I tend to agree with you. I have to keep this like I keep my music and other creative endevours... for me first. That is what is important. If others like it, that is the gravy. That was the lesson learned in this, and I am greatful to have learned it.

Thanks Rim. I agree. I am working on more texture now (for another vid). Part of it is learning how to overcome the limits of my very basic equipment, but I am learning and I am reaching some goals I was not sure I was going to be able too with this setup.

Thanks all of you for taking the time (some more than once) to watch. I sincerely appreciate it.

Wow very kool Clean Work but for my taste abit too much grey (just kidding) and sorry for not replying to my own two last posts Your constructive ctricizm is always welcome. and when it comes to that i know what i do all i can say is I hope so :-) Good Job C U Peace!!!