Are we talking short bus special here? 

Scientist in a lab coat: "Wait. That's a typo. I said they were fatter than everyone else."
Drummer: "Do you know the difference between a scientist's skull and a cowbell?" (...Hollow smack followed by a thud as a body collapses...) "Me neither, but I know who's smarter than a scientist."

I always keep a pair of drumsticks in my car.  That way I can put them on the dashboard and park in the handicap spots.