We once had a fruitcake named Vlad the Impaler. I don't know how old that thing was. No matter how many times we thought we had gotten rid of it, it just kept coming back. It had it's own room in the basement. It liked it dark. For that reason, we kept it covered in pine box with a very artistic stick figure drawing on the lid. It made it look cheery.
One year, I was demonstrating my juggling ability to Vlad by juggling sharpened wooden stakes. Sadly, one of them slipped out of my hand and plunged right into Vlad's art work. We're not really sure what happened, but we couldn't find anything but ashes after the smoke cleared.
On the positive side, Renfield stopped hanging around the house. Since then, I've never juggled again. Granted, I've jiggled more than my share, but that's another story.