What's in Cheltenham, UK?

2015/02/11 11:49:24

Mesh

UbiquitousBubba
It's not going to work, Beagle. I just came back from the future to warn you. I don't know how, but British agents will manage to foil "the Royal Becan Heist."

I'll admit, the idea to disguise yourself as a corgi in order to slip past security was an inspired concept. While the suit seemed a bit snug, it was convincing enough to fool everyone. With a little more patience, you might have gotten away with it.

I'm not sure, but I think you gave yourself away by leaping onto the table, gobbling Her Majesty's becan, and growling, "Watch it, lady." Sadly, your triumph was short lived as agents rushed in, sprang out of a large ham, and downloaded laser flashlight apps on their phones from Q branch. You escaped by chomping at exposed limbs and skidding across the slick floor to slip into the hall. You led your pursuers on a lengthy chase that involved a slow moving queue, a high priced cab, and an interminable wait on a train platform. Eventually, you returned to your lair to plot your revenge, take a nap, or whatever is it that beagles do when no one else is around. An agent broke into your inner sanctum, incapacitated several goons, and fell right into your trap.

In hindsight, you might agree that telling him your plans and gloating might have been a waste of time. Also, I'm not sure that your threats had the desired impact. "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to clutch your ankles and fall to the ground." He just didn't seem suitably concerned. It probably doesn't matter. In the end, he was only stalling you so the other agents could surround your complex. The exploding steak was a bit cruel, but these agents don't mess around. Anyway, once they had you muzzled and on a leash, they led you out in front of the cameras. These events triggered an international becan incident that prompted a number of political speeches in a clear violation of the TOS.

So, I thought I'd come back here and warn you that your plans will ultimately fail. I still don't know how MI6 managed to catch on ahead of time, though. I mean, it's not like anyone told them what was going to happen. It's not like they could have read about it online.

Wait. Sorry about that.