Well Dylan, old boy, I don't have an engineer's ear so I only know if I like it or not.  Little things that drive those boys crazy, I don't even hear.  I do hear bad and good.  This is good to me.  I'm on good monitors and it's solid.  LOVE THE VOCALIST!!!  I would add some other "filling" tracks but couldn't tell you what at this time.  Alwasy some guitar comps, etc, and more bass.  Oops, bass was very strong.  It doesn't need more, but as a bass player I am always obliged to say "more bass".  Chuckle.  This is a nice track. 

I have to say that I REALLY love her voice...

I don't know if this has had anything done to it since you posted it (changes)

Try using the VX-64 Vocal Strip's De-esser if you don't have just a stand alone De-esser for the 
"ess's" - It can be quite the useful tool if you don't have "others" ...

I think it's a very good song!

Welcome to the forum, this was a really good track. Keep creating, waiting for more! - Shawn

I like it.
Follow through on the suggestions, particularly panning.
With a few minor tweaks, this has the potential to be a really great track.
Your vocalist has nothing to be nervous about. Her delivery fits the mood of the piece.
Work this, and keep us posted.
I think this one can polish up really nicely.