paulo

Bristol_Jonesey
 
  i'm married to a divorce lawyer....
 

 
 
Hmm, you didn't really think that one through did ya ?..... ;)

Wow...  I'm not sure what I would do, however I do know I certainly wouldn't go along with the situation!  First of all, there's no such thing as a "common law wife" from a legal standpoint in the UK (I looked it up) so you are only representing yourself in this matter.  Since it sounds like all the major, long-term decisions are being made for you, I'd be packing up and hitting the road in no time at all.  A year from now, you'll probably find that your girlfriend is living in the house she picked with her mom and her mom is living there too!

I am trying to guess who in this story http://forum.cakewalk.com/FindPost/3120346 has the resources to buy a house.

SteveStrummerUK

paulo

Bristol_Jonesey
 
  i'm married to a divorce lawyer....
 

 
 
Hmm, you didn't really think that one through did ya ?..... ;)

Fortunately, it turned out to be the best decision I've ever made 

I have never liked the concept of "common law spouse".  If someone wants to stay with someone unwilling to marry them, then they assume the legal risks that come with it.

Well, they certainly assume some legal risks, but justice, fairness, morality, and the law are only cohabiting, not married. In Washington State the courts do not recognize a common law marriage, but there is some risk that property will be merged against the will of the parties, or vice versa. The British Columbia rules referenced previously are pretty easy to interpret, and give partners almost identical rights as a marriage. In Washington State it is largely a crapshoot. In any case it is wise to consider the legal implications of establishing a long term domestic relationship in which property is not ring-fenced.
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/files/C9D2EA3F-0350-D9AF-ACAE-BF37E9BC9FFA/attachments/3923394D-B818-E41D-A66D-6DBEED485A5D/2783213913EN.pdf
 

craigb
Wow...  I'm not sure what I would do, however I do know I certainly wouldn't go along with the situation!  First of all, there's no such thing as a "common law wife" from a legal standpoint in the UK (I looked it up) so you are only representing yourself in this matter.  Since it sounds like all the major, long-term decisions are being made for you, I'd be packing up and hitting the road in no time at all.  A year from now, you'll probably find that your girlfriend is living in the house she picked with her mom and her mom is living there too!

Yes, I've said to her many times that I really feel that her Mom wants to move in, which she knows I'm against.
 
In a way, I think she's always thought that I'll probably split one day, but that her Mother will be around forever - which of course she won't.
She's just turned 60 this year.
 
 

slartabartfast
I am trying to guess who in this story http://forum.cakewalk.com/FindPost/3120346 has the resources to buy a house.

She currently has the resources to do so.
 
I've purchased 4 houses in my lifetime, with unfortunately the last one ending up in foreclosure & bankruptcy.
 
But she has an annuity from her accident settlement which she got when she turned 19, and it's enough to cover a mortgage with or without me.

Thanks for all the replies & support guys.
 
Went to see the Doctor today, and told him she's killing me from the inside out.
Then I called 2 counselors to make appointments just to make sure I'm not exaggerating and that I have things straight.
 
Spoke to a 3rd one who gave me about 15 minutes of her time free, and she said what some of you have said - no respect = no relationship.
 
She also agreed that her & her Mother are unlikely to change & said sounds like you already know the answer - you just might need a little push to move form the comfort zone of 5 years living there.
 
 Feeling better already - making plans & just moving forward regardless of the slow starting speed.

ampfixer
Time to grow a set. What do you fear the most? Loneliness or oppression. 
 
I see the biggest problem is that you should be making this decision on your own, not based on what a bunch of people on line think. If you can't make up your own mind, perhaps you should just practice saying yes dear, and fall in line. Nothing wrong with having your wife set the rules, we're all different and it works for many men.
 
Just remember, when people say that marriage and common law relationships are the same, they are wrong. A wedding band changes a lot of things if you split one day.
 
Good luck.

Hey John - I don't fear loneliness at all. Never have.
 
In fact, I quite like it.
 
In retrospect, it seems that although I've been with women most of my life, I've been happiest whenever I've lived alone.
 
I've swung my 'grown set' at both her and her Mother plenty of times, only to have the police show up the last time [about 6 months ago], which I then made her Mother explain that 'everything' was their fault before I let him leave.
That should have done it right then & there!
 
But now things are worse.
 
The police file is no doubt in my name, and will remain so, regardless, because it seems that women can do no wrong these days.
 
I will make this decision on my own John, but just posted this as a sort of measuring stick.
Women have all the resources they need when they need it - society, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, governments agencies, even strangers - but men? Most of us have no support at all, so I thought I'd take a brief moment or 2 of comfort with my comrades here, since this is my only real support system.
 
Never did I think there would be so many responses, and so many telling me to not even walk but to run.
I've posted this on one other music forum and one motorcycle forum, and boy the replies have been eye opening to say the least.
 
The opinions & comments have been pretty much the same across the board.
 
Thanks