I made a hundred bucks last weekend plus $40 in tips. That bought:
- a $25 Wal-Mart walkie-talkie so my wife can call me in from the studio if she needs help
- a $10 mouse with working buttons to replace one that's been busted for over a year
- a $25 co-pay for a doctor's visit
- $5 in parking for said doctor visit
- $10 gas to go to said doctor visit
- a $16 case of instant breakfast goop for when my wife can't swallow solid food
- $50 worth of laxatives and Pediasure for my upcoming "procedure"
All money that would have otherwise come from the grocery budget. But best of all, for a few hours I got out and had some fun.
Then I think back to when I did make my living as a full-time musician.
In those days I had no health insurance at all. When I got an ear infection from a hotel swimming pool I had to pay half a week's wages to see a doctor. When our PA amp blew up, I had to buy a new one out of the money I'd set aside for quarterly taxes and then spent the next 6 months paying it back, plus penalties and interest. I got sued by my booking agent for unpaid commissions on cancelled gigs (always read the fine print on those contracts!). I performed major surgery on my van's engine in more than one motel parking lot because I couldn't afford to take it to a garage. My tools, my kitchen utensils, and most of our clothes came from Goodwill. When my entire family was run over by a truck, we had no choice but to sue the remorseful driver to pay the hospital bills, a process that took 10 years, ruined my credit and made me stop answering the phone for a while. And the whole time I was gigging I had chronic tonsillitis but couldn't possibly afford a tonsillectomy.
When I'd finally had enough, I took a day job. It was a rough adjustment, and I wasn't happy about it. It was actually a cut in pay. But after 6 months they granted me health insurance and the first thing I did was have my tonsils removed. My singing voice never came back after that, but the incessant sore throats and hacking up goo stopped.
I gradually came to appreciate a life off the road. I could wash my clothes without leaving the house or gathering up change. I could have hobbies again. I could help the kids with their homework and attend their games and recitals. I didn't have to deal with agents, sleazy club owners or drunks. No more all-night drives through snowstorms. I established credit again, and was able to buy recording gear, guitars and synthesizers. I could enjoy a sunrise without thinking I'd better get to bed soon.
Best of all, as soon as I stopped thinking about music as a means to make a living it started being fun again.
I do not regret for a minute not pursuing a career in music. I love music too much.