ampfixer
Oh man, another guy who thinks his life sucks. Boo frickin' hoo. We all have problems pal so get over it.
This isn't a garbage dump for your negative feelings. Think of the millions on the planet that struggle daily to simply stay alive. I've just had it with people determined to share their pain online. Why not write a book about it instead of coming here to provide the latest evidence that your life sucks.
I believe you, it sucks. Welcome to the club. 
Some people might tell me to accept a lifelong loss of pleasure that might never recover or even fully recover and to just be at peace and content with my life of anhedonia. These would be the pathetic and inferior human beings for having little to no value towards my feelings of pleasure that I value so greatly and I refuse to stoop down to their level. I refuse to be the inferior human being who accepts this loss. I am not inferior. I am instead a powerful human being for not accepting this loss and trying to fully recover it. Therefore, the closest thing to making me a good person despite my loss of pleasure is for not accepting this loss and living my life in trying to fully recover it. The only way for accepting this loss to make me a good person would be if this acceptance would actually fully bring back my ability to experience pleasure. However, if it turns out that I can never recover my pleasure, then I will actually be utterly inferior and me and my life would no longer have any value at all this time regardless of what attitude I have or what things I do in my life. So the only superior human beings are those who tell me to not accept this loss and try to fully recover it who have compassion towards my loss of pleasure and have immense value towards my pleasure. Therefore, I will specifically seek out these types of people who I deem as superior and cast out the rest (the opposite) who will be deemed as utterly inferior.
Also, you can compose music that has dark, gothic, and tragic emotion to it through pure pleasure alone anyway (the pleasure of dark, gothic, and tragic things). You can create these types of music through pure pleasure alone and they can be just as good (and even better) than if you created them through your suffering and despair. You can also grow as a person just as good and even better under the right circumstances through pure pleasure alone without any suffering or despair in your life since the brain is something you can change at will and you can be a better compassionate person at any given personal level and such through just changing your attitude and through other things in life besides suffering, despair, and a lack of pleasure.
I will prove right here how you can grow as a person and be better in other ways without suffering, despair, and a lack of pleasure in your life. There are people who go through a great amount of suffering and despair and yet, they do not become more compassionate or become a better person in any other sense. As a matter of fact, they can become less compassionate even towards others who suffer the same things and they instead take out their suffering on other people. This would be because they have refused to change their attitude in becoming a better person and have refused to become better in any other sense through other means in life besides suffering, despair, and a lack of pleasure. Therefore, since this holds true, the opposite would hold true as well in that people who have very little suffering and despair in their lives can change their attitude in becoming a better person and better in other ways through other means in life besides suffering, despair, and a lack of pleasure.
Finally, who you are as a person and everything else in life is all neutral (neither good or bad) from your perspective and has no effect on your personal value and worth as a person. The only thing that makes you a better or lesser person is your amount of pleasure in life regardless of who you are as a person. I am a megalomaniac who wishes to regain the most important thing to him (which would be my pleasure). I wish to have power, control, and dominion through pure pleasure alone over my life, over suffering and despair, and over other people who do not wish to help me, who have little to no value towards my pleasure, and who are mean to me.