Geeze....you guys are great!
Here he was down and out having given up composing and you've gone and found
something that he has a talent for and a fresh new road for him to travel...now that's the
value of a great forum like this. Multi-talented members I'm talkin'.

bapu
I admire you ZeldaAdmirer. In just eight posts you have written more words than I have in total on this entire site.
 
I hope you take pleasure in at least that.

His verbosity is positively Pedrovian.

jamesg1213

bapu
I admire you ZeldaAdmirer. In just eight posts you have written more words than I have in total on this entire site.
 
I hope you take pleasure in at least that.

His verbosity is positively Pedrovian.

Brilliant.

The OP just needs to roll his sleeves up and sink his teeth into some strenuous labor. There's nothing like hard work to get the endorphins moving and to stop all of that pretentious psychoanalysis from bouncing around your brain. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was both introspective and happy. ZeldaAdmirer you remind me a little of me back when I had a spell of unemployment in my early 20's. I spent much of the day stoned out of my mind thinking endless thoughts about myself and my place in the universe. What was my purpose? What is happiness? What is pleasure? What is my destiny? And I ended up deeply unhappy, convinced that I was incapable of feeling happiness or relating normally to people. When you're in that pretentious state of mind you're guaranteed not to enjoy life. You can't take the rough with the smooth. Every setback turns into a tragedy of almost biblical proportions. You're looking for some kind of spiritual completeness which doesn't exist and because you can't attain it, you're in a perpetual gloom. And then you start thinking that other people are enjoying this spiritual completeness without you (they're not) and the envy kicks in. It's horrible. And in all that time, I had people older and wiser than me telling me that I just needed to STFU and get on with life without thinking about it. Oh how clueless they seemed! They didn't understand! They're obviously not as sensitive and artistic as me! BOO....FREAKIN'....HOO. That's what it all boils down to. Boo freakin' hoo. They were right, and I was wrong. 
 
I know women who have spent their whole lives in that introspective state, their noses forever in some BS "self help" book or other, and they will reach their 60's and 70's without ever having enjoyed life.  Alright so there may be one or two good books. But the vast majority are nothing more than the psychological equivalent of dietary fads that will never, ever incorporate themselves into the fabric of your life or make you feel better. And neither will your own self-analysis. 
 
Just accept that it's not going to get you anywhere, stop thinking about it and throw yourself into some hard work, doesn't have to be physical necessarily. I don't know if you're currently working or unemployed but it sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands to think. And your thoughts are torturing you. What I found was that when I shifted my arse in gear and lost myself in hard work, the BS thoughts took a back seat. They were still there, but I just didn't have time to indulge them. After a while they just gave up and took off to bother some other poor sap, and all of a sudden I found I was enjoying life again, just like I did when I was a kid and all of that pretentious hogwash hadn't infected my brain. Nowadays I don't look for any higher meaning of life and I don't really care. That's not to say I'm not curious about "all that," but now it's just an interesting subject to be entertained every now and then along with all of the other interesting subjects which vie for my attention. 
 
I hate to come across as unsympathetic, but you REALLY need to force yourself to occupy your mind with non-destructive, non-pretentious thoughts. They're ultimately pointless. 

Well said James.

Countdown to when ZeldaAdmirer comes back and tells James how he's wrong and he just doesn't understand.
 
10
9
8
......

 

sharke
The OP....etc

 
Brilliant post. Bravo sir.

sharke
The OP just needs to roll his sleeves up and sink his teeth into some strenuous labor. There's nothing like hard work to get the endorphins moving and to stop all of that pretentious psychoanalysis from bouncing around your brain. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was both introspective and happy. ZeldaAdmirer you remind me a little of me back when I had a spell of unemployment in my early 20's. I spent much of the day stoned out of my mind thinking endless thoughts about myself and my place in the universe. What was my purpose? What is happiness? What is pleasure? What is my destiny? And I ended up deeply unhappy, convinced that I was incapable of feeling happiness or relating normally to people. When you're in that pretentious state of mind you're guaranteed not to enjoy life. You can't take the rough with the smooth. Every setback turns into a tragedy of almost biblical proportions. You're looking for some kind of spiritual completeness which doesn't exist and because you can't attain it, you're in a perpetual gloom. And then you start thinking that other people are enjoying this spiritual completeness without you (they're not) and the envy kicks in. It's horrible. And in all that time, I had people older and wiser than me telling me that I just needed to STFU and get on with life without thinking about it. Oh how clueless they seemed! They didn't understand! They're obviously not as sensitive and artistic as me! BOO....FREAKIN'....HOO. That's what it all boils down to. Boo freakin' hoo. They were right, and I was wrong. 
 
I know women who have spent their whole lives in that introspective state, their noses forever in some BS "self help" book or other, and they will reach their 60's and 70's without ever having enjoyed life.  Alright so there may be one or two good books. But the vast majority are nothing more than the psychological equivalent of dietary fads that will never, ever incorporate themselves into the fabric of your life or make you feel better. And neither will your own self-analysis. 
 
Just accept that it's not going to get you anywhere, stop thinking about it and throw yourself into some hard work, doesn't have to be physical necessarily. I don't know if you're currently working or unemployed but it sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands to think. And your thoughts are torturing you. What I found was that when I shifted my arse in gear and lost myself in hard work, the BS thoughts took a back seat. They were still there, but I just didn't have time to indulge them. After a while they just gave up and took off to bother some other poor sap, and all of a sudden I found I was enjoying life again, just like I did when I was a kid and all of that pretentious hogwash hadn't infected my brain. Nowadays I don't look for any higher meaning of life and I don't really care. That's not to say I'm not curious about "all that," but now it's just an interesting subject to be entertained every now and then along with all of the other interesting subjects which vie for my attention. 
 
I hate to come across as unsympathetic, but you REALLY need to force yourself to occupy your mind with non-destructive, non-pretentious thoughts. They're ultimately pointless. 

You can do either one of four things here at this point if you have lost the truly greatest thing in your life.  You can either: 1.) Find greater value in other things in life than your pleasure (which doesn't exist at all for me nor will it ever) 2.) Live your life trying to gain back what you lost 3.) Live your life as a whiny complaining child and be deemed by others as just an inferior whiny spoiled brat or 4.) In the event that one cannot gain back his/her loss, then become someone who is at least somewhat superior and great before his/her death despite his/her absence of pleasure through being a psychopath like Hitler who demands his/her life back (which would be my life of pleasure) who deems people as inferior who have little to no value towards his/her pleasure and towards his/her loss of pleasure and seeks out such people and slaughters them before slaughtering his/herself.  In other words, take others with him/her to his/her death since pleasure was the only greatest thing to him/her in life and, without the ability to ever recover it, then his/her life is worth ending as well as ending the lives of those other people I mentioned.  
 
I should also say something else very important here which is that Hitler would only be superior for having pleasure and also only if he killed off the types of people I mentioned here.  But aside from his pleasure, Hitler would not be anyone superior for having killed genuinely innocent and compassionate people.  However, he would be superior for wanting power and control in his life.  Therefore, there are 3 parallel aspects of Hitler that define his personal value and worth as a human being:  1.) His amount of pleasure in life 2.) The fact that he killed innocent people which made him a bad person in one sense 3.) The fact that he lived his life wanting and having power and control in his life which made him superior in another sense.  So you might then be asking between #2 and #3 as to whether he would be considered a superior or inferior person.  The answer to that would be that you can look at it either way.  But like I said, pleasure is what really defines your personal value and worth as a human being and all other things in life such as who you are as a person are all neutral (neither good or bad).  The reason why I say that Hitler would either be a good or bad person anyway is simply because this is how I would feel when the fact of the matter is that all those other things in life besides your own pleasure and suffering are all neutral.
 
Now in my paragraph above my previous one I just made, #2 and #4 apply to me (#4 only being an absolute last resort).  I know I said earlier in my writing that I would never harm myself or others.  However, if it comes down to me never being able to significantly recover my pleasure, then that is when I will be brought to the point of harming myself and others.  But fortunately, I don't think it can ever be proven as to whether I will or I won't significantly or fully recover my pleasure since there are people who live many years with little to no pleasure and yet find significant and even full recovery later on in life.  So I don't think I have to worry about #4 ever happening.

sharke
The OP just needs to roll his sleeves up and sink his teeth into some strenuous labor. There's nothing like hard work to get the endorphins moving and to stop all of that pretentious psychoanalysis from bouncing around your brain. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was both introspective and happy. ZeldaAdmirer you remind me a little of me back when I had a spell of unemployment in my early 20's. I spent much of the day stoned out of my mind thinking endless thoughts about myself and my place in the universe. What was my purpose? What is happiness? What is pleasure? What is my destiny? And I ended up deeply unhappy, convinced that I was incapable of feeling happiness or relating normally to people. When you're in that pretentious state of mind you're guaranteed not to enjoy life. You can't take the rough with the smooth. Every setback turns into a tragedy of almost biblical proportions. You're looking for some kind of spiritual completeness which doesn't exist and because you can't attain it, you're in a perpetual gloom. And then you start thinking that other people are enjoying this spiritual completeness without you (they're not) and the envy kicks in. It's horrible. And in all that time, I had people older and wiser than me telling me that I just needed to STFU and get on with life without thinking about it. Oh how clueless they seemed! They didn't understand! They're obviously not as sensitive and artistic as me! BOO....FREAKIN'....HOO. That's what it all boils down to. Boo freakin' hoo. They were right, and I was wrong. 
 
I know women who have spent their whole lives in that introspective state, their noses forever in some BS "self help" book or other, and they will reach their 60's and 70's without ever having enjoyed life.  Alright so there may be one or two good books. But the vast majority are nothing more than the psychological equivalent of dietary fads that will never, ever incorporate themselves into the fabric of your life or make you feel better. And neither will your own self-analysis. 
 
Just accept that it's not going to get you anywhere, stop thinking about it and throw yourself into some hard work, doesn't have to be physical necessarily. I don't know if you're currently working or unemployed but it sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands to think. And your thoughts are torturing you. What I found was that when I shifted my arse in gear and lost myself in hard work, the BS thoughts took a back seat. They were still there, but I just didn't have time to indulge them. After a while they just gave up and took off to bother some other poor sap, and all of a sudden I found I was enjoying life again, just like I did when I was a kid and all of that pretentious hogwash hadn't infected my brain. Nowadays I don't look for any higher meaning of life and I don't really care. That's not to say I'm not curious about "all that," but now it's just an interesting subject to be entertained every now and then along with all of the other interesting subjects which vie for my attention. 
 
I hate to come across as unsympathetic, but you REALLY need to force yourself to occupy your mind with non-destructive, non-pretentious thoughts. They're ultimately pointless. 

Very well said sharke. I hope ZeldaAdmirer finds the right path to wellness.