"You see, we like the way you play, but we can't have someone on stage that no one would ever want to see. Ever."
"We're going to miss you and we'll never be able to replace you. By the way, this is Bo and he'll be filling in for you. Can you teach him how to play your part?"
"Um, who are you again?"
"We've decided to go in a different direction. We're not really sure what direction that will be, but we know it will take us far, far away from you."
"If it had been up to me, I'd have found a place for you somewhere in our band. I mean, we could have you wear a gorilla suit and sit in a cage, but our manager already promised that job to his nephew."
"It's not personal, dude. It's business. Except that in your case, it's totally personal."
"Okay, so check this out. I was like, 'No way Am I gonna stab my good friend in the back', you know? And then, the suit was like, 'I'm not paying for both of you.' And I was like, 'Whoa!' I mean, like, it's not everyday I get a chance to play at the grand opening of a new 7-Eleven, you know?"
"Man, you know that we are brothers and nothing could ever make us turn our backs on a band member. There is no force in the universe that could turn us against one another. Except for our wives, of course. They totally hate you. Sorry, man."
"Do you remember when you started this band and you brought us all together? That was great. We're all very glad to be in your band. Here's the thing. We'd like to continue being your band, but without you."
"Excellent news! The manager's nephew got a gig shoveling stalls at the stockyards, so the job with the gorilla suit is still open. When I say, 'job', I mean it's more of a volunteer position. Also, you have to show up to the gig in the costume because the rest of the band can't know that the gorilla is really you. See? I told you I'd find a way to keep you in the band."