I'm jealous. There's nothing I like better than to be the one trying to catch up with better players.
 
Hey, if the gig pays well I could come down and do keys for you so you wouldn't feel like the biggest faker in the band.

Good idea Bit. Send me a ticket and I'll bring my tools and look after the amps. It's that time of year in Canada when we dream about sun ans deserts.

Other than having to use a capo, things went fine I guess. :)
 
 

NOTHING wrong with having to use a capo! That's what they're there for!

I'm the same as you, haven't played with other people for years. Forgotten what it's like. I find it much easier playing on stage as a group than playing solo, mind. I could never play guitar and sing solo, never. I hate it when you know the whole room is focused on you and you alone. But for a while I sang the lead part of a barbershop quartet and felt no inhibitions at all. Even if there's just one other player - I did a version of the Ace Of Spades, bluegrass style on banjo with a friend supporting on guitar at an open mic night and the 30 or so people in the room went NUTS when we'd finished, despite what I felt were some catastrophic mistakes in my ridiculously intricate solo break (what on earth possessed me to think that I could play something that I'd spent weeks practicing, with great difficultly, on stage, up to speed, and probably a little "baked" as well?). Makes you realize that nobody's looking for perfection, and most people probably wouldn't even recognize it if they heard it anyway. So just enjoy yourself!

In the past, I've pretty much always been pushed in the spotlight by default.
 
 
Last night though, I remembered when I played with those old geezers in a traditional jazz band. That wasn't so bad, I could back away, move to the side of the stage. I can't say I remember much - not that I was drunk or anything, but maybe just that these weren't as emotionally demanding as being the frontman. I focused on the charts in the real book and tried my best to figure how I'd play those odd chord voicings as they came. lol
 
That's the nice thing playing with my wife - she's got enough stage presence and charisma to hold the center of the stage at Radio City Music Hall, so chances are people won't even notice I'm there. :P

I love to perform. While I haven't had first hand experience with stage fright or spotlight avoidance syndrome, I have tried to help a number of fellow band members deal with it. 
 
I don't know for sure, but I think that confidence on stage comes from your attitude. If you know your material well and you know that you are able to play it well, you can walk into that spotlight eager to share your talent with an audience. When I'm performing with a band, we are creating a song together. We play off of each other. I'll throw in a fill that prompts the bass to nail that downbeat a little harder and the rhythm guitar locks in just a bit tighter. I'm never worried about how I look to the audience or what they may think of me. I know the material is good. I know that I'm good. The band is creating something new and unique and I'm excited to show it off to the audience.
 
Friends and family will say that this is because I'm an extrovert. I know some of it may be due to personality quirks, but I also think that there's an underlying belief at work. I believe that I'm good at what I do. I believe that I can play those songs in a way that is uniquely mine. I also believe that while my style may not be to everyone's liking, that there is an audience out there who will love what I play. Whether or not this audience gets it, I believe in what I'm doing and it feels great.
 
...but that's just me. 

Show and tell was a nightmare for me, starting in high school.
 
In college, I kept the best possible grades all year long (between 95%-98%) but ended up just passing (60%) because I didn't show up for it. I simply refused to do it - systematically, year after year. My teachers were usually appalled by my decision...