D

Yes, I like it, and I would love to hear this come to fruition.  Suggestions:  I only hear bass drum and snare, so a hihat or shaker or some other rhythic element would be welcome.  Your textures are off to a good start, but they're like flavors in a recipe, a few more flavors would help.  And last, where's that boomin bass synth?  I'll bet you had already thought of these ideas, so this is just basic stuff.  Keep us posted, please.

Well, the drums are strong and the rest of it seems weak.  I guess as just a test track it has direction but needs a lot more work.  The melody could be good with more texture as you talk about.  It's a good start.

this could have potential; kinda reminds me of a digital Clash.  yet i'm not sure i like the synth sound itself, unless later with more instrumentation there is a reason for it.  Beat is cool & can be integrated w/ more variation.  since this is just a test taste a formal critique could be given when more is added and developed in the mix.  not a bad start though - 

first of all thanks for the comments.

@lynn all the elements are already there just only the right rhytmic and soundmixing were missing.
oh wait of course structure and some varis :-)
i gotta admitt i am a bit lazy when it comes to such things like structuring and varying of riddims.
here is a lill updated version.
Only the sounds were improved ( i hope so) ;-)
and it means alot that you have liked it.
THANKS

@ Warren
you are absolutly right it just a test track i wasn't sure if i should spend time on it.
so i needed some feeds to be sure
I improved the sounds of this lill piece but it still has got no structure.
but i think now it has more power than before.
i hope you will enjoy it.
THANKS

@ Beatiful
i am sorry but it's still just a small piece 
i haven't had much time to correct things.
I guess i know what are you talking off 
I will try to not to loose the puristic fell of synth.
THANKS for the constructive critics.


UPDATE!!! (lill improved version)

 

PS:
sorry for my miserable English

I kinda like it.  I admit I don't know a lot about synth music, but to me the lead synth sounds a bit thin.  I think this would sound brilliant with a massive groovy bass line thumping through it. 

keep going it certainly got something hooky in there.

Switch out the kick sample with a tuned booming kick and you may have something here.

 I love all but the drums. Verb just on the drums are sounding like in a different room than the rest. I think they are a bit bright for this particular piece, I think less highs for the drums would be better. If that is MIDI drums, I would try a more Latin sounding kit. I think a few bossa nova tom loops here and there would really kick it up a notch. JMO I really dig the music on this one.

Lynn


I would love to hear this come to fruition.  Suggestions:  I only hear bass drum and snare, so a hihat or shaker or some other rhythic element would be welcome.  

+2.698687263957845

wow thanx for the helpfull comments.

@Stinga
nice idea i know what you mean,
but the main story(atmosphere) of the track were not manifested.
and i decided to make it smoother
maybe I'll make  a remix of this with a groovy bass later :-)

Stinga Thanx for sharing this idea.


@James
THANX for your constructive criticizm.
i'll give it a try.


@ OHGRANT

the drums need to be improved definitely .
but after listenig to this lill piece about hundred times my ears were tired.
and i did not noticed that mistake with that verb (room).
good ears.
Bossa nova I'll try it out.
but i changed the direction of the track
maybe i gotta make  a second version.


Once again THANK YOU VERY MUCH for you very very constructive criticizm. :-)




@Bapu
  
now i have added

+2.698687263957845 elements :-)


thanx for taking time.




piano added version

Jumper Update.2

 
i hope it goes the right direction

THANX