May I have your attention, please? Excuse me, everyone. Please listen up for a moment. This is an important announcement.
Please use care when eating wristbands. Make sure to differentiate between the wristband and the wrist itself. While the wrist may be covered in chili, please remember that hands are not food. No, not even someone else's hands. I'm serious about this, people! I suppose that hooks are okay, but hands and forearms are specifically off limits.
We hope to resolve this situation soon by replacing the wristbands with necklaces. Thank you.