At all hours of the day this toothless alcoholic woman on my block sings at the top of her voice out of tune. It gets so you can't open your window and it's been going on for about 2 years. Her hits include: 
"Waaazlurghh gattadooooo.....gattadoooowehheh" (Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It)
"Arrrrreeeesssspeeeeceeeeteeeee" (RESPECT - Aretha Franklin)
"Hawwiwwa naahhh iffeeeereeeeleeeee lurvvss meh" (How Will I Know - Whitney Houston)
People have been calling the cops for at least a year to try and get her to shut up and it's never worked. So on my way home from work tonight I saw her there sat in her usual place singing her sloshed little heart out. And I just walked up to her and said "Shut the f up - please, shut the f up"

And she did.

sharke
"Shut the f up - please, shut the f up"

I tried that with my wife, but she didn't!

joekeeyinyang

sharke
"Shut the f up - please, shut the f up"

I tried that with my wife, but she didn't!

Did you try curtsying while saying it?

joekeeyinyang

sharke
"Shut the f up - please, shut the f up"

I tried that with my wife, but she didn't!

Ummmmmmmm I'd be on the street faster than you can say Bapu.

What does love have to with it? Really?

Well I just went downstairs to reiterate my original request because apparently it didn't take properly. This time I went into a little more detail about how nobody on the block can get to goddamned sleep, including babies and old people, and how the general feeling was that certain parties may have been a little presumptuous about the popularity of her vocal performances. Warming to the theme a little, I suggested that she might try her luck on another block, perhaps one in which the majority of the residents are stone deaf and/or opium addicts. I then wished her luck in her future musical career and expressed a fervent hope that the feelings outlined in our conversation had been understood to the degree that the rest of the evening could continue without the delights of a certain set of atonally vibrating vocal chords. She asked me for a dollar. 

Wish I knew how to embed youtube videos like the rest of you guys.
 
Hey Sharke-- looks like Larry David has the same methopd as you :)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6PuC6Tis1E

backwoods
Wish I knew how to embed youtube videos like the rest of you guys.
 
Hey Sharke-- looks like Larry David has the same methopd as you :)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6PuC6Tis1E

Yep been there done that. Back when I lived in Newcastle, I'd be woken up every morning by a student who would meditate in his garage with a constant "Ommmm........Ommmmmmm...." You wouldn't think that such an inoffensive sound could disturb you. I mean it wasn't that loud. But I guess I have quite good hearing and once my ears were tuned to it, I couldn't not hear it and it would wake me up at 5am every morning and then I couldn't get back to sleep and I'd lie there festering. 
 
One morning I snapped and without even realizing I was doing it, I found myself in the back lane in my boxer shorts.  I proceeded to the garage in question and kicked the metal door over and over, to the rhythm of me shouting "NIP...IT...IN...THE...EFFING...BUD!"
 
It stopped and I never heard it again. I felt pretty bad about it for a while. He must have gotten the shock of his life. 

Ammmm..............  Ammmmmmmmm....

I'm seeing the red mist again....