Coincidentally...
Just the other night, I was out in the back garden doing a bit of stargazing when, to my utter amazement, I saw a flying saucer land in the field on the other side of my fence.
After a few moments, a door opened in the side of the UFO and an alien emerged from within. He caught sight of me and made his way over to where I was stood.
I extended a hand in a gesture of greeting and said, "Hello, and welcome to planet Earth."
He looked me in the eye, and in perfect English he replied, "Feck arse sh1t feck why the feck don't you fecking well feck off and arse stop fecking bothering me knob sh1t with such fecking stupid fecking nonsense arse you dozy fecking twat!"
'How rude' I thought...
... I guess he must have been an extratourettestrial being.