Toontracks EZ Drummer or Superior Drummer is another alternative - although since you already get Addictive Drums with Sonar that is a bit of a side ways move. I'd recommend digging deep into Addictive Drums and possibly expanding that.
Keep in mind when using these systems (Addictive, EZ Drummer, etc...) you can always edit (fine tune) the midi tracks after you compile your rough track. You will learn a lot about drum programming by analyzing what they do.
Like you, a lot of people don't like the step sequencer.... I like it myself, but mainly because I came from the old Roland Drum machines that programmed that very way back in the 80's. However - once I started using the Piano Roll for drum editing I've never looked back. With drums, the PR is the ultimate step sequencer if you take the time to work with it.
Good luck...