So, a buddy of mine,  a drummer in a few bands I played in many years back just kinda disappeared from sight.... dropped off the face of the earth kinda thing.....
 
lets go back a few months..... end of last year, early this year....
 
So I dropped in to see him when I was working in the area where he lives. He's about 2 hrs away so it's not often I get down his way. When I am down there, I always try to meet for lunch, or at least sit a spell and talk.  And, that day we had a really good talk. He was at peace with the crap life was dealing to him. .... we kinda see each other mostly on facebook due to the distance involved. anyway, his mom died last year and the house he was living in with her, got left to his sister.  His sister gave him notice to move out.He was planning to move and get a job with an old friend in construction.
 
So I got noticing that he had disappeared totally off FB.... I searched for him and couldn't find him. Not a big deal since he had unfriended me and blocked me before. (long story)  Sometimes he lets his internet get shut off..... Then about a year after he unfriended me, he sends me a friend request again. Go figure.... I sat on that for a month or two before accepting it...after I called him and we talked.  But, yeah, he's gone again.
 
I sent an inquiry to his "lady friend".... no reply...... hummmmm.....?
 
Anyway, I sent a message to another mutual friend to see if he had seen him on line...... nope....and he couldn't find him either with a search...... then I got to thinking..... at the table that day, he said he might be "going away" again..... care of the department of corrections. Seems he can't seem to stay out of, and off of, motor vehicles when he's drinking liquor and had gotten popped again driving his mom's car on a beer run.....  
 
Sure enough, a search of inmates currently incarcerated in the NC DOC turned up his current status as "incarcerated" ......
 
he hasn't had his driver license in probably 18 to 20 years now...... since that time he got a DUI one night headed to see his wife at work. Since then, a string of DUI's.... 20 or more..... lawyers, judges, fines, lack of income due to not being able to get a car, insurance, or a temp license, and then a year in jail because the judge got tired of seeing him back in the courtroom for the same thing over and over and over......
 
Yep, he's setting in the jailhouse again..... he'll celebrate his 61st birthday behind razor wire...and get out 2 days later..... he'll probably celebrate with a drink..... wanna bet?
 
some people never learn

Kind of sad--at least the fact that he hasn't learned.  Good luck to him. 

I can relate Herb. An old bass player friend. A real sweet guy but just a train wreck of humanity. In and out of jail for one thing after another for the last 30 years. I bailed him out a few times and lent/donated cash for a lawyer, then finally cut him off. I talked to his sister awhile back and he was inside on a 5 year hitch. He apparently "borrowed" a strippers Supra GT and got into a chase with the cops. He high centered the car on a median and as he exited the car about 20 pissed off cops had him surrounded. That's when my chucklehead friend threw down the option of "one at a time or all at once boys". You can guess which option they chose. After he was released from the hospital, he didn't get to pass GO. He gets out in 2 1/2 if he has good behavior. I'm not hopeful.

Randy

I don't have any sympathy whatsoever for chronic drink drivers, I think they should get a minimum of 10 years in jail. Don't care what they've been through. Drink yourself to death, just do it in the privacy of your own home and not behind the wheel of a car where you're likely to off a family coming home from the kid's birthday party (or whatever other tragic circumstance it usually turns out to be). I hate the way the drunk driver so often survives these fatal wrecks as well. I despise them. I grassed my own parents up for drink driving when I was a kid and have never regretted it.

I'd go to visit him if he sends me the visitation form.... the inmates have to send it...I can't download it and fill it out....so I'll send his lady friend a note..... and wait to see what happens.... he's only about 25 minutes down the road.

sharke
I don't have any sympathy whatsoever for chronic drink drivers, I think they should get a minimum of 10 years in jail. Don't care what they've been through. Drink yourself to death, just do it in the privacy of your own home and not behind the wheel of a car where you're likely to off a family coming home from the kid's birthday party (or whatever other tragic circumstance it usually turns out to be). I hate the way the drunk driver so often survives these fatal wrecks as well. I despise them. I grassed my own parents up for drink driving when I was a kid and have never regretted it.

 
Absolutely. Driving under the influence is a serious crime and a danger to everyone on the road or near the road. We have some pretty heavy laws here in NC but, that won't stop the determined person.... and they can always get a scooter, golf cart, bike or horse, which BTW is also a crime to be on while drunk.
 
Jail time.... I'm in full agreement and NC has a 3 strikes you're out policy ..... but money and lawyers and overcrowded jails tend to have judges issuing lenient sentences.
 

Guitarhacker
... 
Jail time.... I'm in full agreement and NC has a 3 strikes you're out policy ..... but money and lawyers and overcrowded jails tend to have judges issuing lenient sentences.
 ...

Not to mention that you and I are paying for it in taxes and these bums get a meal or two!
 
I kinda think the leniency has more to do with having to cut down on the total numbers as budgets shrink, and there is no more money left for these luxuries.

I think we all have tendencies toward different vices. Alcohol is certainly one that can get a person into a lot of trouble, and harm others in the process, and one of those that if caught under the right/or wrong conditions can result in jail time. I seriously doubt he wanted to hurt anyone, but if he keeps at it someone besides him would have been hurt. That's the thing about a vice that has you under it's control, you don't use logic anymore and someone or something eventually steps in to force your hand, either that or you end up killing yourself. Unfortunately jail is probably the best thing for him...although the detox will be over way before he gets out.
 
I have a friend who got out of control recently. He didn't show for his job and so a few guys went looking for him. They found him surrounded by empty 5th bottles. He is a diabetic and drinking sweet whiskey could have easily killed him.He hadn't been eating...it really is a miracle he isn't dead. When they found him he didn't know what day it was, heck I don't think he knew the year.....his story has a better ending. His job is a place where they won't fire you for having an addiction, instead they will help you to get treatment, so now he's in detox instead of a casket or in jail. I really hope his story has a good ending. You won't find a kinder gentler human being than him. It really is a shame that we get these monkeys on our backs.

I, too, have a good friend who's been crippled by alcoholism. One that I had to eventually give up on once I realized that he needed far more than just a good friend. His sister is already dead from alcohol, his brother manages to be a functioning alcoholic but who knows if he can keep that up indefinitely.
 
I feel fortunate that alcohol makes me ill and always has.
 
One of the reasons I quit playing music full-time was the realization that I was really just a liquor salesman. Ever have an employer tell your band to only play fast songs, because it makes people drink more?