Maybe they'll give you a Babel fish. 

Rain
Not that long ago I watched the documentary Trekkies, featuring (you might have heard about her) a lady in Arkansas who showed up for jury duty in full Starfleet attire - uniform, badge and all. 
 
They eventually dismissed her.
 
Considering that I'm currently in a Star Trek marathon finally getting into the Next Generation and streaming (legally) episodes almost non-stop, I think it would be credible that I'd show up with a federation costume, Vulcan ears and all.
 
Maybe it'd work for me.
If not, I could try dressing as a Klingon and requesting either a universal translator or an interpreter.
 
K'pla!!!
 
 

Be Canadian. Red toque with a white pom-pom, flannel shirt, parka and hockey stick. You know, Canadian formal.

Just got back.
 
Looks like I got up in the middle of the night (7am) and showed up for nothing. Postponed at the last minute for whatever reason. 
 
And guess what? I'll most likely get a 3rd subpoena and go through this crap again.
 
Whether it's your money or your goods or your time and energy, parasites always feed on you... I guess they do give back in return - they must represent a goldmine for those prosecuting and defending them...
 
By the way, what do you call someone who feeds on parasites?

Rain
 
By the way, what do you call someone who feeds on parasites?

If I knew, I'd call 'em!
 
BTW - I'm lovin' your new online avatar. 

No need to call, they'll get in touch via subpoena. ;)
 
BTW - Thanks. It puts a smile on my face every time I see it. 

And giving... 3rd subpoena. I'm starting to develop mailbox anxiety.
 
I think what bothers me the most is to have my honest citizen freedom tempered with and my basic rights suspended over and over again so that a criminal can have a fair trial and cash in on the benefits of a contract he broke repeatedly. It is revolting to be that helpless and not to have an option to decide for yourself.
 
It's I who should sue those scums for all the nights of sleep I've lost and my case of mailbox anxiety. 
 
The minute they jumped in our backyard, they started messing my life, and the consequences keep on piling up...

By the way, I got to speak with the prosecutor before I left last Monday, told her that I really wasn't sure that I'd be of any help and she told me to get back in touch with whoever would be working the case if I received another subpoena. She'd suggested that I called the generic number, but I didn't feel all that happy with that so I looked up the Victim Witness dept and called them as well.
 
Hopefully I'll get a call back and I'll finally be able to at least speak with someone.
 

Alright, witness protection for Rain!  

There's some posters upstairs that could use witless protection... 

Not quite - I'm merely trying to get in touch with someone to make up for an obvious lack of screening and to try to regain a bit of control on my life. That Witness Victim dept. is seemingly the most appropriate place for me to start.
 
I feel so frustrated to be called up to show up in court w/o anyone interviewing me or even just calling me and to simply be kept in the dark.  No one says anything and I just keep receiving subpoenas, at random times. This generates an insane amount of stress.
 
And it's not just a matter of a possible retaliation - it's the complete disregard for my life which leaves me the impression that I'm a toy they can do whatever with w/o so much as a curtesy call - all that to give a fair trial to a repeated offender.
 
Not to mention, showing up in court at 8:45 for me is like having to wake up at 2 am for the average Joe - my wife works nights and we've lived accordingly for years. I can't just go to bed early that one night hoping that I'll catch my 6-8 hours - it takes me weeks to adapt. I've already lost sleep because of those thieves and I am tired of having them suck more life out of me.
 
Plus, I don't drive and we only have one car anyway so I have to take a cab - last time they estimated my transportation to $34, when it actually cost me $70. So I'm actually wasting money for that criminal to have a fair trial, all that when I cannot identify him.
 
 
I just want them to cross my name off that list or at least have a word in it and speak with them. It sickens me to have that dangling over my head.