I've never used one of whatever the censored word is, but I can think of some people who maybe should make use of one of whatever it is.

To the Op, what were you thinking when you posted this thread? 
What a silly question. All it does is generate some silly answers. 
Freedom of speech is great and immature topics can be really funny at times. Anyone tried a d**** seems just a way to get attention IMO. 
You can say and do whatever you think is proper but sometimes it just seems that some people just aren't aware of how ridiculous some threads can become!
 

Yeah it's a silly thread, what's wrong with some silly answers. But a respected guitarist in a respected publication discussed it, so it has some credibility. 
 
Think you are taking things way too seriously.

hmm... what if I moderately successful band was shown moderately-useful sounds on guitar by a similarly successful producer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIFMpKHEgeE 

Natural is better.

I was me that mentioned the E-bow  - check out Stuart Adamson (Big Country).
 

The Storm: 00:20
Porrohman: 02:30
 
Porrohman had me mesmerised 'in the day' - 2mins to verse 1, another minute til the second verse.

 
I also have the Mr.Big 'Lean Into It' CD, with 'The Electric Drill Song'. (Paul Gilbert as above). Drills at 02:35.