A police officer pulled me over to tell me that, because I was wearing my seat belt, I had just won $1,000 in a safety competition.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?, the officer asked.
I responded, "Well... I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
At that moment my wife chimed in, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart-ass when he's drunk."
This woke up the guy in the back seat who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car!"
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk, and a voice asked, "Are we over the border yet?"