I was thinkin about Thanksgiving, football,etc. specifically dinner. I decided to go to Walmart for a turkey to cook. I was looking thru the frozen butterball Turkeys but they were kinda small so I asked a clerk if they get any bigger and he said " Nope, they're all dead". 

so then what did you say in reply???

 
 

musicman100
so then what did you say in reply???

"It's clear to me that YOUR purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others never to buy condoms at Walmart" but that's not important right now. 
 
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Bill's on a roll.
 
 
 
I'm just not sure if it's a kaiser or sourdough.
 

I wasn't on the Doughboy:
 
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast
infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an
avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest
funeral ceremonies in recent years.

Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies, and Skippy.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima,
delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much
he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He
enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at
him.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another
bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. 

 
(Old jokes require old applause - as long as they're GOOD old jokes that is!  )