craigb
I may have limited knowledge in this area (being a single guy and all), but I've been told I have this part down correctly.
NEVER buy something practical for your wife's (or girlfriend's) birthday or Christmas. It will only cause years of grief (they never, ever forget).
You need to get something impractical like jewelry, stuffed animals, fine candy, purses, shoes or a new Jaguar (or a stuffed animal wearing the jewelry while holding the candy next to a nice purse and shoes all in the front seat of a new car).
Be extremely careful when following this advice as he left out a key part known as "F
emale Unforgivable Gifting of Unmatched Precedent syndrome (aka FUGUP syndrome).
You see, for us guys if we get an especially nice gift from our lovely lady it's like, "Cool! Great!", and then that's that.
But for our fairer sex, it doesn't end there! They file away this lovely gift information and all gifts given in the future will be compared to this new standard. If, by chance, a future gift seemingly does not measure up to the standard this will be taken by them as an indication that your relationship now "has problems".
And there is almost nothing worse than being in a relationship with a fine lady who is constantly examining and wanting to discuss said relationship.