Beware of trying to match average RMS as a way to make all your songs sound equally loud, because it will only get you into the ballpark. A recording with good song dynamics could vary by as much as -24db to -8db average RMS.
The K-system, in a nutshell, is a way to correlate average RMS to what you hear out of your speakers. It requires you to calibrate your monitors so that you're monitoring consistently. Bob Katz's
website has more information, or better yet pick up his classic book "Mastering Audio".
If you settle on K-14 as your standard (a good choice), put SPAN into mastering mode ("Mode" button, upper-right) and select the K-14 meter scale ("Metering" button, beneath the display).
As you play back your song, watch the meter readings (which will bounce around, that's a good thing!). You want the bulk of your song to bounce around the 0db mark, usually going no more than 3-4db above it in the louder passages. I never let it go above +6db, and then only briefly.
I'd recommend importing some of your favorite commercial recordings into SONAR so you can observe what SPAN does while they're playing.