If a total mix is around -28 db (rms) and -14 peak it could be said that it is a little low in level to begin with.
A good rms value for a mix could be -20 dB rms or even higher at -14 dB rms
(for EDM I would be working at a higher ref level in preparation for a louder master later on) The kick on its own is hard to measure rms wise unless it has a long decay and a lot of sustained energy. If it is a tight kick then the rms meter will never be accurate because it is too slow to show the real story. Peak metering comes into effect here. A kick could peak as high as -6 dB FS and still be well clear of 0 dB FS.
Once you send all the drums to a buss say then you could put the rms meter over the whole drum sound and you should be able to see a more accurate picture of the total drum rms value. Which if I was working at say a ref of -14 then the drum buss would be pushing -14 dB FS (rms) and quite high eg -6 to -4 dB FS peaks. If you have got your dynamics processors set right then you can still prevent clipping even with peaky instruments.
In the mix however if I started with the drum buss first I would only push it to say -3 to -4 dB on the main stereo VU meter (which really means -17 to -18 dB rms levels at a -14 dB ref level) that allows some room for all the other stuff to come in and by the time it all does your mix should be just sitting at your chosen ref level eg -14 dB rms (if you are working at -14 rms ref level)
The kick drum is often loud in EDM but that is fine too. That is a mix issue. You can still create a mix that has a loud kick but still sit right on your chosen ref level too.
You need to think about a ref level before you even start. Calibrate your system and set up proper VU meters to read and show rms values anywhere you want to put them. Without any of this you are stabbing in the dark like so many others do.