1: We visited my mom and dad last week. Dad said that his money is running out faster than he expected. Wife is a CPA, she started taking a look. There were 1k and 1.5k payments coming out of his checking account at least once a week. We found that they were being paid on his discover card. Then we found that his oldest grand daughter (not one of our daughters thankfully) had gone online and gotten herself a card on his account and has spent over 25k on it since Dec 15. He had cashed in a CD and something else and put 32k in his account in Jan. The Discover bill for this month is 6k. Once he pays it he will have about 5k left of the 32k.
Now... they put aside money all their lives, they did without. Mom is 96, dad will be 95 in August. He has no idea what was going on. She was taking the bank statements and dad is to the point that he didn't notice... I cannot tell you how I feel. I am not mad at her, not yet. I cannot wrap my head around this. I am sad.
My sister who is 72 cannot tell dad so they are going to call me anytime now and I am going to tell him.
At least we have (hopefully) stopped it. We are going to start to set aside any extra money that we can.
I just cannot believe someone could do this. You would not believe the things on the Discover card statement, her groceries, airline tickets, hotel stays, Best Buy (over 400 purchace), 1,000s in cash advances... on and on.
It is very distressing.
 
It has just been a horrible week... this morning my computer wouldn't work because of some updates, I did a system restore then Norton started to block internet access. I finally got it reinstalled and everything seems OK. Yesterday I went to start my pump motor on my truck and it had gotten water in it... finally got it started.
It is like being under attack. The biggest thing is my dad though... he is going to be so hurt I think. He was asking us to help to see if he could save 100 bucks a year on his homeowners insurance.
 
Actually there is no 2 or 3... it is like a horror story. 
 
Why... how do people do something like this?
 
Julien

Now my sister is saying I shouldn't tell my dad... could this be any worse? Well, yeah. Some people have kids or grandkids in the family that kill parents or grand parents... so yeah, it could be worse... BUT... I told her that I AM going to tell him.

If you pray, I could use some. If not... maybe some mojo or whatever you have. I am broken hearted today. Sis is trying to get mom back in bed so she wont know. She has some dementia and if she knew about this she would never let it go and life would be miserable for everyone down there.

Yesterday I understood the band name, Drivin' and Cryin'.

J

I am very sorry to hear that Julien.  It is awful what some people will do to others.  And she may or may not even realize how hurtful she's being. 

since you specifically asked in your post, I will say that I am lifting you and your family up in prayer.  I pray things will work out for you and your parents, tho I don't know what the best way to handle this would be.

Hi Julien,

I am very sorry to hear that you have to face this.

If I may, I recommend that under the circumstance where your parents aren't 100% aware of things that you take some time to consider whether it will be helpful to explain to your parents what happened.

It seems like a lot of damage has been done, but that you have an opportunity to protect them from realizing the full extent of it.

Wishing you the best,
mike

Thanks guys. I just talked to dad and explained to him where his money has been going. He took it OK. He got quiet but I think I was able to keep him from getting mad. He, being almost 95 has no idea about the internet and had a bit of a time understanding how the GD got herself a credit card on his account but I think he understands well enough. The wife and I were on the phone on this end, he and my sister on the other. We just deactivated his account online. Will go from here.
My two goals were for him to understand exactly what happened because I feel he has the right to know and second to assure him that we will take care of him and that IMO, God is his provider and will not let him down. I know he will be on an emotional rollercoaster but I tried my best to assure him that we were going to make sure that nothing like this happened again and that he never has to worry about running out of money.
Really, I don't think I have ever had this sort of stress level before. Some things make you feel so helpless.

Reese, please pray for me anytime. Mike, they were not aware. The GD was getting the discover statements online and was intercepting the bank statements from the mailbox.

Water under the bridge now. Time for healing, not time to tear the family apart... at least not in my opinion. I just wish I could think about something else for a little while, ya know?

I appreciate you guys, and everyone else here more than you know.

J

Wow, that's very shocking news! How old is the grandchild in question? I can't fathom someone doing something like that. I hope there's some way to recover at least some of the money from her.

I also agree with Mike that the focus should be on what's best for your parents at this point. 

My sympathies are with you.

Man that's a tough one to swallow. I really feel your pain Julien. It seems every family has a black sheep of some type. This is clearly a case of fraud and the girl has to take some heat. I know you don't want to here that but you can't just let it slide. Many credit cards have fraud insurance, so I'd definitely check that out.

I'm speaking from sad experience. My mom passed just before Christmas and My sister was in charge of the estate. We found out that a brother had an under the table loan for 20K from my mom. When she passed he figure he's keep his mouth shut and escape the debt. We found out and corrected the imbalance when the estate was settled.

Money will make people do horrible things, but so will greed and stupidity.

Drew... she is over 50. Someone should have seen it coming. I found out this week that my sis and dad had confronted her in January about using the card to get cash, I guess they didn't realize the depth of the problem. She apologized and went right on doing it... no one bothered telling us or we would have been watching closer.

John, it seems like alomst everyone has a family story. I don't think my dad will press charges and I am not going to advise him to. If he does that I think he needs to come up with it himself. I may tell him that he has that option after a couple of weeks so he wont do anything without having had time to process the whole thing.

I think my sister is going to have to stay next week and care for them because I am so behind in my business I cannot go until I catch up a bit.. she will just have to suck it up and stay there. I wish I could move my parents to a place up where I live but my mom would probably have to be sedated if we did that. This is what happens when no one will listen to reason. My sister has been saying for a couple of years that they were OK taking care of them, now she is older, tired, and it is becoming a problem AND they my nw be past the point of assisted living. I don't know what is going to happen. We are going to talk to their doctor and try to get hospice care and help from the VA. Some people hinder more than help when they try to help but I think things are coming to a head soon.

Thanks!

J