craigb

Blonde Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

“Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Husband texts back:

“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:


“Computer really screwed up now.”

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
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"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.