thanks for your input mate
i have checked everything you suggested and everything is ok, the signal is hot, everything is just as it should be, only on the other side of the line it's weak
so I thoguht it's maybe something with the fact that condenser mic simply cannot be used for this...or ASIO? no idea...I will check the link, thanks
in the mean time I bought a cheap 3 EUR mic, plugged it into my onboard card and everything works like a charm..so I am listening to my friend through MOTU, and talking to him through onboard Soundmax...perfect
but I hate when I don't know why things don't work

you know what I mean

I also posted the question on Soundonsound.com forum, but no one even tried to help, not even the administrator, Martin Walker, who writes for the magazine and i know he was online today because he replied to so many posts and skipped mine, although I begged him
not that he is obliged to help, but i was kind of hoping he would
anyway, you are the only one who tried to help and I express my gratitude

cheers